#relationships – Opinions Of Eye

Back To Back

“You may not remember the time you let me go first.
Or the time you dropped back to tell me it wasn’t that far to go.
Or the time you waited at the crossroads for me to catch up.
You may not remember any of those, but I do and this is what I have to say to you:

Today, no matter what it takes,
we ride home together.”
― Brian Andreas, Traveling Light: Stories & Drawings for a Quiet Mind

weheartit

Back to back that’s how we started,

fighting the whole world, we never parted.

Then came new life, shafts in the quiver.

We fired them off, our crops never withered.

Along came the wolf, death he swore.

He limped and lied to get through the door.

He consumed you with his intellectual abandon,

my back now unguarded, my heart saddened.

I tried for months to retake the hallowed ground,

but you were too far gone, never to be found.

Lost and spinning, exposing my nakedness,

I struggled grimacing, my life hard pressed

Then I saw her, evil disguised as purity.

Face of an angel, a heart that wasn’t free.

I came to her with my intentions pure,

she cast one glance, it was over for sure

All the passion I wished you to use,

now you found it, she was your muse

I drove on, looking at you secretly,

asking me to stay, your nakedness I see

To late, like fire spreading on water,

she flowed freely, around all your barter

Driving on into my own peril,

she would slay me with just one arrow

Entranced by her wiles, I followed her to hell,

but my back not guarded, I swiftly fell.

Barely I survived, held under the water of pain,

my lungs bursting to breath love again

Fire scorched and burned through all my nerves,

it never went out, smoldering in the curves

Struggling to gain ground, to get back to back again,

Back to back one day, I long for my friend.

Also published in Broowaha

08072010

Have you ever felt it? – Simple things, simply love

“The road to finding ‘the one’ is paved with a bit of promiscuity.” – Ryan Erickson

redbubble

Have you ever felt it?

I spent hours taking the little sunburned petals from your skin,
removing them ever so carefully, tenderly,

utterly in heaven, a heaven which surely,

the birds are familiar…

Have you ever felt it?

I lose myself in thoughts of you, and me, together

in a slow dance that walks us through the gates of fantasy

all our senses lost in the moment, hearts racing,

minds panting to keep up.

Have you ever felt it?

Bodies moving together, souls floating,

passion shared, in the heat forming a bond

that can never be broken, though you my lover

are very, very far away.

Have you ever felt it?

11192011

Albatross

“There is love of course. And then there’s life, its enemy.” – Jean Anouilh

albatross

Fingers brush through your hair
your leaving me there,
Floating on my ocean dream.
Feet run to your kiss, I say farewell to bliss,
Crashing along the windy cliff.
Eyes transfixed on your stare,
of you I must beware,
Chasing me on the rocky edge.
Mind searching for a hint,
your affection leaves no imprint,
Leaping off to fall free.
An albatross on a long flight,
a blind journey with no insight,
Asking “Where will I land?”

Also published in Broowaha

Also published in Wingposse, June 2012

12202011

Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #4 Quietness –

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:”
Proverbs 9:1.
The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.

“Those who know do not talk. Those who talk do not know. Keep your mouth closed… this therefore is the highest state of man.”
– Tao Te Ching 56

“One who will not accept solitude, stillness and quiet recurring moments…is caught up in the wilderness of addictions; far removed from an original state of being and awareness. This is ‘dis-ease.”
― T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters with “The Divine Presence”

More harm is done to both reputation and relationships by my words more than any other thing I do. My first inclination should be quietness, calmness, and contemplation of the matter at hand. When I’m offended, hurt, or angry, I must keep my mouth shut, at least initially. Keeping the secrets and confidence placed on me, holding my thoughts and tongue, I protect myself and others. Talking about injustices done to me only keeps the hurt alive and fans the flames of anger. Quietness is a refuge, in contrast expressing my opinion at every turn is never necessary. There are times to express myself, but only when these conversations are governed by wisdom’s pillars. I must show restraint when my heart bursts to speak, when my stomach aches to exact verbal revenge on those who are against me, when my pride wants to tell everything I think I know. Holding my tongue and keeping knowledge and opinions to myself produces confidence and inspires the same in others around me. In quietness and confidence is my strength.

Also published in Broowaha Magazine

Related Links: Pillar #1 – Humility; Pillar #2 – Peace; Pillar #3 – Seriousness; Pillar #4 – Quietness; Pillar #5 Mercy; Pillar #6 – Easily Entreated; Pillar #7 – Higher Source

03042012

Estranged –

“The distant soul can shake the distant friend’s soul and make the longing felt, over untold miles.” ― John Masefield

Stares into the fires of what used to be

Longing for a shore on this endless sea

Then and still she rejects me

Glares into the mirror of what is to see

Glancing back just the bare image of me

Then and still she blames me

Pairs thrown into storms of life do believe

Splitting again to separate entities

Then and still she’s a part of me

First published in Opinions Of Eye

The Myth of Betrayal –

“Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, color, class, or religion, children must have the opportunity to learn that within each range, some people are loathsome and some are delightful.” ― Margaret Mead

yuhimebarbara

For the longest time I’ve written and mused about the betrayal of friends and lovers until TD Jakes said something that altered my view from here on out, “They never betrayed you because they were never your friends”. My mistake is that I put people who were never my friends in a place of trust and honor and shared with them secrets and insights from my deepest thoughts, which things were turned against me in due time and used to degrade, insult, and hurt me. But the mistake wasn’t theirs, it was mine for misunderstanding that there are different kinds of people that need to be categorized into different kinds of relationships. I’ll use the animal kingdom for an example. A wolf may kill a buzzard without a thought, therefore the buzzard treats the wolf with caution and flees, they don’t “hang out” together. This doesn’t make the wolf irrelevant because the wolf will create opportunities and lead the buzzard to food. As long as the buzzard realizes the limits of the relationship and stays within those confines, it’ll be safe, but if it mistakes this provision of food for proof of safety from the wolf, he will die one day and that quite suddenly. The lesson is this: Firstly, I must filter people into the correct category. Secondly, I must keep them there and never change the arrangement because of my feelings.

Why did I make this mistake to begin with? Because loneliness, low self-esteem, and a myriad of other psychological crap that’s followed me from my childhood makes me hungry for approval and friendship, and when I’m hungry, I’ll eat anything. People I know are bad for me have crept in by familiarity and the whip of loneliness has driven me to them for company and comfort. Another reason for my mistake is my spirituality. Being of tender heart and convinced I must do good for others, I’ve put myself in close proximity to dangerous and unpredictable people and mistook my desire to show them the love of God as accepting them and showing them I trust them, allowing them to access to my soul’s secrets and confidence. Everyone’s seen a video where a guy jumps a fence or reaches through it to pet a wild animal. The results are usually catastrophic and the thought comes to mind immediately, “What the hell were they thinking?”. There are no fences in life unless we put them there and no signs warning us unless we write them. I’m upset at myself for having gone this long without understanding this principal, however it’s never to late to learn, so here’s a mighty shove to push everyone away from me while I reevaluate the relationship we share.

First published in Opinions Of Eye

P.O. –

“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who’s served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.”
― Ogden Nash, I’m a Stranger Here Myself

other-ways-to-live

Rough your way intruded on me

Now your way’s what I want to be

So take your give and know that I

Will always care for your girl Shy

Only bars prevented this

All your girls beggin’ shit

Thinking that I’d make all this up

but you knew, we’d all shut up

Dresses and letters to all your friends

Everything you wanted that’s how it ends.

And now my hell is left without you.
Turning my PO world to blue…

Also published in Broowaha

First published in Opinionsofeye.com

Little Signs – The paranoia of betrayal –

“Fear of vikings builds castles.” – Charles Manson

Sitting at the window, you wait for the sound of me

Knowing your betrayal, you nervously wait to see.

Looking in my eyes, you seek for little signs

the lurid knowledge of forbidden times.

Searching through my things for false pretense

believing I’m like you, you’re incensed.

Take your paranoia, your imposed hell

Leave me alone, your really not well.

How is it that, you can steal away

Holding my patient love at bay?

In the end you’ll regret to see

I’ll leave you alone and take care of me.

Also published in Broowaha
Also published in Wingposse

First published in Opinions Of Eye

11242011

Love is a Tyrant

The following is an article by a talented writer, SZU. ” Love’s not a tyrant; lovers are; My heart’s a proof-with its shining scars.” Enjoy.

Recently an active exchange of poetic responses began between a friend and I. He wrote this beautiful one and sent it my way…and that’s how it began

When storms have raged and passed away
Can gentle calm succeed?
I sleep to ease a troubled mind
Sleep is the friend that I need…
With these few words I speak my mind
You in this, a quest will find
My quest is clear…seek it out
Love is a tyrant…when in doubt

I got an instant inspiration; and i wrote down the following words in response:

This storm is here for eternity,
No trace of calmness can I see…
No sleep, no rest can soothe my mind
No friend can bring me glee…
This unending quest kills me everyday,
I can’t reach where I want to be…
This doubt can be tyrant I know,
Still this love shall be a part of me…

We appreciated each other’s work and then obviously forgot about it. And just today when I was having my lunch; I got another set of couplets from him in response to what I wrote a week back:

Your storm once raged and passed away,
And the gentle calm did succeed
You slept and eased a troubled mind
Yet now sleep is the friend I need
In those few words you spoke your mind…
…and yet I was so lost, dumb and blind…
Your love’s still a tyrant, there’s no doubt
I’m lost and confused; my soul wants out…

So I just decided to post all the three poems on my blog. But as i am typing here; I can sense the birth of yet another response to his (above written)poem…here it goes..

Why live in the memories of that storm?
That was a reality once…but now its gone…
And why depend on a gentle calm?
And why not make your wounds, your balm?
Sleep- if dreams are where you belong…
Sleep – if that fake world makes you strong!
Don’t be lost, because they won’t find you
Don’t think much because those thoughts might blind you…
Love’s not tyrant; lovers are;
My heart’s a proof – with its shining scars.

Also published in Broowaha

Also published in Opinionsofeye.com

09242014

11 Things I Wish My Daughter To Know – Wisdom for my daughters –

Athena, Goddess Of Wisdom

1) Hold your head high, you’re beautiful, every day, all the time. When a man asks you to change your appearance to be acceptable to him, walk away and be yourself. Develop your character inside. Beauty is deeper than an outward appearance.

2) Respect yourself. In all you do and say, be a woman of class and honor. You will not get respect until you respect yourself.

3) Follow your dreams, never let a relationship, whether it be friendship, or love, rob you of what you dream.

4) Be independent, make sure of your own finances, health, and career. Always have a way of escape – financially, physically, and emotionally.

5) Beware when you find yourself rescuing a man, whether financially or emotionally. They will use your motherly instincts to manipulate you and guilt to force your hand to provide for them.

6) Every gift has a price, you may not see it at first, but it’s there. Don’t take lavish gifts from men, they will pressure you with it. Earn what you want on your own.

7) When a man hits you, he WILL hit you again. You need to leave right away or know that you will get beat in the future. He will not change, you will suffer at his hand. There are no exceptions to this rule.

8) Listen to your heart, when you feel something is wrong, something is. These are your gifts, empathy and insight.

9) Precipitating a crisis to keep a man from leaving is a grave error. Getting pregnant, getting “sick”, using his secrets to threaten him, these will all backfire on you.

10) Pick the things you will and won’t deal with. Every man will have some quality that will drive you crazy, a fault that may or may not be forgivable. Choose what faults you will or won’t deal with BEFORE you’re in a relationship and stick to your decision.

11) Do not cheat on your man, this can lead to great violence toward you and injury to your self esteem. There is never a happy ending to this, if he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you. If you’re not satisfied with your man, leave. This can save your life.

These things will help keep you safe and happy, and will prevent your dad from having to kill someone…

Love you girls,
Pops

Also published in Broowaha

12152011