P.O. –

“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who’s served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.”
Ogden Nash, I’m a Stranger Here Myself
other-ways-to-live
Rough your way intruded on me
Now your way’s what I want to be
So take your give and know that I
Will always care for your girl Shy
Only bars prevented this
All your girls beggin’ shit
Thinking that I’d make all this up
but you knew, we’d all shut up
Dresses and letters to all your friends
Everything you wanted that’s how it ends.
And now my hell is left without you.
Turning my PO world to blue…
Also published in Broowaha
 
First published in Opinionsofeye.com
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Little Signs – The paranoia of betrayal –

 “Fear of vikings builds castles.” – Charles Manson

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Sitting at the window, you wait for the sound of me
Knowing your betrayal, you nervously wait to see.
Looking in my eyes, you seek for little signs
the lurid knowledge of forbidden times.
 
Searching through my things for false pretense
believing I’m like you, you’re incensed.
 
Take your paranoia, your imposed hell
Leave me alone, your really not well.
 
How is it that, you can steal away
Holding my patient love at bay?
 
In the end you’ll regret to see
I’ll leave you alone and take care of me.

Also published in Broowaha
Also published in Wingposse
First published in Opinions Of Eye
11242011 
 
       

One Thing, Everyday – Do something to help

“How selfish soever man may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it.” 

I saw this picture, a boy collapsed on the road to a UN Food Camp, a vulture waiting for him to die, and I said to myself, “way the hell am I whining about anything?” Am I that frigging spoiled that I don’t recognize how good I have it? After a good self flagellation, I determined these goals in life: take the weight off of those who I’m around, bring a smile to a desperate soul, lift up a broken human being back onto the path of life, and give one hungry soul a bite to eat. Basically, look for the opportunity, everyday, to reach out of my comfort zone and help someone. What if I could do just one thing, everyday, to help someone out? Then my perspective would be changed, then I would stop complaining, then I would really be living.

Yet His Eyes – PTSD

“The guns taught only one thing, but they taught it well: of what consequence is life? Of what consequence is a man? And, therefore, of what consequence if he tramples love in one place and goes to find it in the next? The little moment that he has, let him be at peace, far from the guns and all that remind him of them.” – Cornell Woolrich, The Fantastic Stories of Cornell Woolrich
 

ureyes2me

The wound, hidden, bled through his clothes

Those he meets casually talk in cliches
Yet his eyes, bright with promise, gleam for today
He will never stop running, though he grows weak,
from the stain flowing down his shirt
Yet his eyes, bright with promise, gleam for today 

If you need help with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) click here

 08082011

Damn This Circle – Catch 22

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type. 
”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over. 
She loved me, never forgetting.
I loved another, I’m now regretting.
Now I wonder, if I should try,
to love again, to say goodbye.
Damn this circle, it torments only.
Now left alone, desperately lonely.

11102011

Damn This Circle – Catch 22

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type. 
”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over. 
She loved me, never forgetting.
I loved another, I’m now regretting.
Now I wonder, if I should try,
to love again, to say goodbye.
Damn this circle, it torments only.
Now left alone, desperately lonely.

11102011

The Queen, Part 13 – Comfortable Violence

 

spiffynorthwest

The throbbing in my shoulder matched the muffled sounds from the headers of the car. Sweet liquid morphine and shots of Jack Daniels had their desired effect, easing my body and mind out the bowels of this craziness. It’s amazing how fast life can change, from dreary and boring to “What the fuck!” in a hot quick second. I noticed things were getting easier, surprises less surprising, and choices made by previous choices. Violence became a common thing, life and death, no longer fragile and precious, but cheap and forgotten. The only lives important were ours. It wasn’t the fight for life, because I had life and it never was this exciting or crazy, but it was the fight for survival. I know survival is life, but there’s something about staring at the wrong end of the gun on a regular basis that ingrained a grit, a hardness that’s comforting and that sedates the complacency experienced by the blue and white collared grunts, performing the same routine, longing after a little dough to buy a house or car, or the beautiful trophy wife. I imagine cavemen had this same excitement, and really, that what this was. Caveman style, fight for survival, kill and maim to push ahead and escape. Some men are born for this lifestyle, and for me? Well I didn’t know, but I knew that guns now felt comfortable, my aim was sure and not shaking, my stride confident with my queen by my side. I guess that even if I didn’t start in this “trade” it seemed that it grew on me. These thoughts eased me into another deep sleep, the lullaby of mufflers at 70 mph, and the comfort of cold steel pressed against my skin and delicious lips, parted slightly with just a little strain visible on her china face. Where this was going, I didn’t care and it seemed my career description was rapidly changing from my old mundane, back breaking job, but the goal was the same, that I might see her and escape from the listless world that was mine, outside my Queen’s castle.