“He needed the warmth of the sun to take away the chill of foreboding that grew in him.”
― Francine Rivers, A Voice in the Wind
Foreboding: an omen, prediction, or presentiment especially of coming evil
I’m amazed at how I will cast off restraint to escape limits imposed on me by delayed gratification. Why the obsession with getting my desires filled with a haste? My experiences have led me to believe that there is no future of happiness for me, everything that is good and pleasurable, will soon, either by bad choices, contrary circumstances, or even brevity of life will take be taken from me. I slap the water of my foreboding trying to stay afloat and drink the saltwater of foolishness to obtain momentary relief for the thirst for joy. I’m being taught there is a way that will bring me into peace and relief, brought there by the shepherd of my soul, Jesus. The way is hard, but it is leading me out of my dark, into a misty sunrise of the realization that trying to keep myself satisfied is not my job, it is His. When I experience the enjoyments given to me by Him, there is a lasting and gradual ascent from foreboding.