Little Signs – The paranoia of betrayal –

 “Fear of vikings builds castles.” – Charles Manson

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Sitting at the window, you wait for the sound of me
Knowing your betrayal, you nervously wait to see.
Looking in my eyes, you seek for little signs
the lurid knowledge of forbidden times.
 
Searching through my things for false pretense
believing I’m like you, you’re incensed.
 
Take your paranoia, your imposed hell
Leave me alone, your really not well.
 
How is it that, you can steal away
Holding my patient love at bay?
 
In the end you’ll regret to see
I’ll leave you alone and take care of me.

Also published in Broowaha
Also published in Wingposse
First published in Opinions Of Eye
11242011 
 
       

Stinger – Fighting doubt

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell
Tickle in my brain, flying around in there
Nettle from the wings, wings without air.
Brother to it’s flight, a needle of doubt
The sting will be sure, no way out.
I flinch from the pain, it pierces my defense
Pushing without mercy, sparing no expense
I feel the poison rush, numbing as it goes
Fiercely it corrupts, putting hope in death throes
I shake myself aware, knowing I won’t let go
To pull this ugly thing out, to stop the ebbing flow
Strength from the deep, I brace once more for pain

Doubt resurrects, it’ll keep coming back again.

Also published in Wingposse, September 2012 


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Shhhhh…. – Words can maim for life

 “Because even the smallest of words can be the ones to hurt you, or save you.”
Natsuki Takaya

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The tongue can set a fire no man can extinguish. The venomous stings it inflicts can break apart even the best friendships. Life and death are in the power of the words we speak. We’d do well to remember that when we blithely spout off the latest rumors, the latest dirt, about the ones we love. Don’t repeat the gossip, don’t listen to the gossip. Shhhhh…..

Also published in Wingposse Magazine, December 2012

11132011

    

Clouds – Promise of Change

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” – Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds 
alxndrasplace

When it comes, like clouds, forming mushrooms in the afternoon sky.
In their power, change.
Solo plumes and powerful gathered masses, threaten and bring life
In their power, change.
Eternal questions erased in a moment of violence, life given solace
In their power, change.
Take the water of pain, given without invitation, let it rain
In its power, change.


Also published in Wingposse
08012011

Harmony of Red

“I hear the question upon your lips: What is it to be a colour? 
Colour is the touch of the eye, music to the deaf, a word out of the darkness…
I’m so fortunate to be red! I’m fiery. I’m strong. I know men take notice of me and that I cannot be resisted.” – Orhan Pamuk,
My Name is Red

 

Mceklips
I hear the harmony of red, the sound coloring
the morning and evening blanket of night.
Tactile hallucinations of reality, melody of tints
bringing peace to spinning clouds.
Expressions of earths fiery embers, born in my soul,
songs of red seas to greet the darkened sky.
Eyes of primal mystery, songs of the black forest
redvisions of night reflected in searching eyes.
A harmonious melody, red repossesses
the land of my aching soul.
Be still now swirling colors of misty confusion
Red brings rest in her arms….

Also published in Wingposse, October 2012 

08162012

 

Harmony of Red

“I hear the question upon your lips: What is it to be a colour? 
Colour is the touch of the eye, music to the deaf, a word out of the darkness…
I’m so fortunate to be red! I’m fiery. I’m strong. I know men take notice of me and that I cannot be resisted.” – Orhan Pamuk,
My Name is Red

 

Mceklips
I hear the harmony of red, the sound coloring
the morning and evening blanket of night.
Tactile hallucinations of reality, melody of tints
bringing peace to spinning clouds.
Expressions of earths fiery embers, born in my soul,
songs of red seas to greet the darkened sky.
Eyes of primal mystery, songs of the black forest
redvisions of night reflected in searching eyes.
A harmonious melody, red repossesses
the land of my aching soul.
Be still now swirling colors of misty confusion
Red brings rest in her arms….

Also published in Wingposse, October 2012 

08162012

 

Lure – Desire draws you

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to. 
” ― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title
 

Your song, whispered in a sweet sensual incantation

The spell so strong, I cannot resist


Your voice, inspiring a delicious strong sensation

The lure so sure, I cannot run


Your eyes, creating potent captivation

The draw so clear, I cannot stop


Your enticement, Leaving no reconciliation,

Laying down my defense, I can only surrender

Also Published in: Broowaha 

Also published in Wingposse, August 2012

08212011

Lure – Desire draws you

“She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to. 
” ― Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title
 

Your song, whispered in a sweet sensual incantation

The spell so strong, I cannot resist


Your voice, inspiring a delicious strong sensation

The lure so sure, I cannot run


Your eyes, creating potent captivation

The draw so clear, I cannot stop


Your enticement, Leaving no reconciliation,

Laying down my defense, I can only surrender

Also Published in: Broowaha 

Also published in Wingposse, August 2012

08212011

What She Thinks – An addicts inner struggle after relapse

“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.”Hal Borland
“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. Thomas Carlyle

 

“I will not give up, I don’t care what I feel like, what they say, or how many times I fail, I will keep trying…” This became my mantra on nights that never seem to end.
 
Up all night. I’m tired but can’t sleep. I ache with fear, anxiety, wanting so badly to do good, to be a better person. Seeing the sunrise through my tears, sobs coming deep from my soul, I’m ashamed at what I did to get high. My will’s held captive to this lifestyle that I despise, and yet seek at every opportunity. Shame burns in my soul every time I fail. I overheard their comments, “she’s so cool except when she gets high.” Thieves gather around my life and seeing my weakness, they intend to rob me of what little possessions I have, my own body. Here’s my shame, I know better, I can do better, yet I fall prey to my craving and the traps they lay for me. I pray for a way out, morning after morning, failure after failure, long tortuous night after long tortuous night. I no longer enjoy getting wasted, it leaves me wanting, thirsty for more, there’s never enough to make me satisfied. There’s so many people to blame and I even blame God for the cruel things that have happened to me, time and time again. Funny how I blame and cuss the same God I call on for help when I’m scared out of my mind. Deep inside, I know that I can get out of this mess. I will be a success. Someone will love me, not just use me. I’ll stop this madness, my shame will be forgotten and my tired soul will sleep without fear. Until then I’ll keep trying and never stop getting back on my feet.

 

“No matter what others see, though I’m beat down on the outside, inside I refuse to give up and I will stand again.”

Also published in: Wingposse, 05-08-13
 

12112011

                            

Change of Light – Following that which changes you

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer




Holding my hands close together, I formed a tenuous cup to hold the growing ball of light. Spreading its warmth through my body and then through the room, it grew whiter with power not of this world, nor of that, but from the synergy of conflict and need present in my heart and in the heart of the tree dwellers. My incantation wasn’t of an arcane sort, but a prayer to the assembly of clouds, gathering to see the trial of feelings. He trespassed against the royal ordinance of the reigning king, his passion and impudence seen in his actions, for his dancing and mourning vacillated all day and night through the weeks. The light now affected the countenance of all in the room, faces showing the betrayal of their minds against their self control, for in spite of themselves, a feeling of joy spread through the room like mist in the valleys of darkened forests. I released my spell with a loud clap, and with relief observed the judges and juries of my peers change with the passing seconds. My point was clear, we can all change when our environment changes. This example pressed all to note that feelings should never lead, when light, objective light, can change even the dampened sorrow and tepid happiness of our habitual thoughts. To yield control to that light which can change us, to capture control of feelings, this is where the transformation begins…