The Hermit Chronicles: Castle Of Singularity

“…Disgusted at the guilt or absurdity of Mankind, the Misanthrope flies from it: He resolves to become a Hermit, and buries himself in the Cavern of some gloomy Rock…” – Matthew Gregory Lewis, The Monk
seattlestravels

I existed alone, in a little cave of nowhere, and was quite content to be exactly where I didn’t know. Gladly retiring to my castle of singularity, I sensed others, not prowling, but curious of my existence. I hid quietly, waiting for them to pass by like so many times before, but then the rustling stopped, the leaves breathlessly announcing a turn in the path leading to me. The steps crunched closer and my hiding place is revealed. I’ve discovered many places to hide, and in spite of my camouflage, there I’m found. I don’t want them to find me, I want to remain secluded, my resources won’t support their hunger and thirst. No matter how I try, they come. With desires no man can tame, they press me out of my comfort, pushing me to give a portion of myself. What is it about a man who desires no pleasure of company, that lures so many to invite themselves to just that, his company? The more I push and pull from society, the more curiosity I inspire. Can’t they just pass by and stop following me down these endless circling, rocky paths? Only to lay on me the guilt of their choice saying, “You never looked out for us, you led us down the wrong path”. Turn back little ones, fair maidens, here in this dark cave lies great desire, desire that will fuel the pain of loss, for only when you desire much can your hopes be dashed against the longing, when all you sought disappears in the dark once again.

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Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #2 Peace –

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:” Proverbs 9:1. The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.  

If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”
Nelson Mandela

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other”
Pillar #2 Peace 

Wisdom will always seek a way to bring peace within myself and with others. Peace with myself always precedes peace with others. It’s imperative that I find a place of calmness, centered in myself and quiet in my thoughts and from that haven I influence my relationships  looking for ways to get along with my enemy, my friend, my spouse, and my nation. Haste has no room in this pursuit. Anger will rise tempting me to act impulsively but I must resist every urge to act quickly. Calmness, confidence, and quietness will be the lighthouses that guide me through the dire straights of relationships. Taking a deep breath, calming my emotions and raging thoughts, I find the peace that’s born from mother Wisdom.

Estranged –

“The distant soul can shake the distant friend’s soul and make the longing felt, over untold miles.” ― John Masefield

bibliophilebunny
  bibliophilebunny
Stares into the fires of what used to be
Longing for a shore on this endless sea

Then and still she rejects me

Glares into the mirror of what is to see
Glancing back just the bare image of me

Then and still she blames me

Pairs thrown into storms of life do believe
Splitting again to separate entities

Then and still she’s a part of me

First published in Opinions Of Eye

Darling

“The exhilarating ripple of her voice was a wild tonic in the rain.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby 

Fresh-mind-fresh-day
                  Fresh-mind-fresh-day

Never was a gentle and quiet word
spoken but so clearly heard

Innocent as the new day
echoing across a souls pain

Whispering she is vulnerable
that was the angelic guise so

Eloquently draped with a voice
surrendering I had no choice

Her tender call seducing me
in a moment she had all I’d be

It made me feel amazingly alive
She the moon and I the tide

Even now in this dreary day
tenderly I can hear her say

Darling, Darling

*

First published in Opinions Of Eye

The Hand That Helps –

 “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” ― John Bunyan
magictransistor

Repeating the refrain of old warriors, a certain one of them, having found himself at destinies juncture, has lent not just a hand, but a life to aid one who had fallen, namely me. To this end, that I might be found whole again, a work was instituted that in spite of my efforts (for I often sabotage my own salvation) continues to this day. He is called in the popular tongue an Indian, more specifically, a Native American, and was a large man with long black hair, who inspired respect, if from nothing more than from his size, reached down to assist me by holding back the powers of the dark world of addiction and the apex predators who prowl its labyrinthine corridors. With his family by his side he took me in, giving me refuge and a place of recovery without which I’d probably be dead or worse (there are things worse than dying).

During the time of his heaven sent provision an alternative lifestyle began to show itself. Don’t take alternative to be a freaky derivative of normality, but it was an alternative compared to my insanity. His family was simply just that, a family. This greatly put me in awe, for this thing called family was an institution of which I’ve been deprived of and seeing his daily dance of life with his wife and child put me at ease and challenged me to walk a different path. This path included a particular music with which I began to fall in love with as the music for my own dance with normality.

Understand that people who are impaired, whether physically or mentally, can dance but not like an unimpaired person would. My twirls and spirals, off beat and tragically humorous created a unique rhythm that would like the Native American drums, inspire me to reach beyond myself, beyond what I knew, and teach me things that though unseen were amazingly tangible. The reason I write is to honor him and the amazing work that his random and sometimes not so random acts of kindness began in me many years ago. So my friend, where ever you are, I can still see you who with unwavering determination gave me hope and with your Bruce Lee One Inch Punch gave me a bruise and reason to not wound this opportunity to grow.

*

First Published in Opinions Of Eye

Also published in Life as a Human

Alienation of a Soul –

“When you’re socially awkward, you’re isolated more than usual, and when you’re isolated more than usual, your creativity is less compromised by what has already been said and done. All your hope in life starts to depend on your craft, so you try to perfect it. One reason I stay isolated more than the average person is to keep my creativity as fierce as possible. Being the odd one out may have its temporary disadvantages, but more importantly, it has its permanent advantages.” ― Criss Jami, Killosophy
jeancon
I’ve lost it all, all my compassion, all my empathy, all my concern for the flip flop of dire humanity around me. I built my life around trying to “do the right thing” in personal relationships, with both the stranger and the wife, the friends and the foes. Right now, it doesn’t seem to matter in the least whether I was good or bad, made wrong choices or excellent decisions. It’s strangely exhilarating to, at least in theory, be done with everyone, like the chains have fallen off my mind. A very experienced convict told me that if I wanted to be bad all I had to do is get in touch with the hate in my heart. I’ve a lot of hate, but how to touch it was beyond me, being constrained by an itinerant love which I called God’s love. With this new advent of running empty of that supposed love, I find reason and wisdom calling for me to listen. After years of letting people run rampant through my gardens, I want to put up barbwire fences and sit with my armament waiting for these pests to dig under it. I don’t want to be bad per say, I just want to be free from the derision that comes with helping people and the struggle with being good to them. I still haven’t touched that hate, but losing touch with my empathy is leading me down a path that there may be no returning from. I don’t want to be concerned with anyone’s life or opinions outside of the one with me here and in spite of the responsibility I feel to take care of my significant other, that concern is suffering as well. All this is the fruit of leaving my first love, the God that reached down through the clouds of my deformation and showed me in a moment that His love is real and tangible. On bent knees I seek Him again to save me from myself, from my predetermination to propagate the horrors and injustices born against me.
*
”If you love them that love you, what credit is that to you?” – Luke 6:32
*
First published in Opinions of Eye

Scared –

 “Most men either compromise or drop their greatest talents and start running after, what they perceive to be, a more reasonable success, and somewhere in between they end up with a discontented settlement. Safety is indeed stability, but it is not progression.” ― Criss Jami, Killosophy
journey illusions
Wildness birthed in his eyes
Crazy he tries,
Running without a place to go
 *
Chased by fears in his mind
Desperately finds
Everything can hurt in the end
*
Fleet of foot he roams
Spinning alone
Fathers been gone for years
*
Calls from jail coming again
He denies within
Whats destined by nurture
*
Tears his inheritance
a due recompense
A life spun out of control
*
First published in Opinions Of Eye