The Becoming

“Look at the sky. Does its sapphire hue dim when you take a single breath? Are the stars drawn closer when you weep? The sky cannot be diminished so. Thus it is with the spirit: it is a thing without beginning or end.” – Elaine Cunningham, Realms of the Arcane 
Dennis Auburn Miles

With dark magic you break into the caverns of my memories. A vaporous arcane finger begins its assault on my sequestered passions and in an absolution of experience, all visions of women begin to morph into beauties reflecting you. I labor with the change, and find my smile is a close companion in willing submission to your spell. How is my power taken so quickly in our interludes? I blame it on the slipping years, their subtle grip slowing my resistance, and with gradual persistence, opening my world to your reaching grasp. A knowing glance chases my hesitations, and with prowess you pursue my remaining enclaves. You and I now, become we.

11 Things Observed In The Betrayal Of My Friend

“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.” ― David Levithan, The Lover’s Dictionary 
“He, who had done more than any human being to draw her out of the caves of her secret, folded life, now threw her down into deeper recesses of fear and doubt. The fall was greater than she had ever known, because she had ventured so far into emotion and had abandoned herself to it.”
Anaïs Nin 

Observing these things operating occasionally in my relationships is normal. However, if I see a few things happening all the time, and especially if I make excuses for the violation of these principles, it is cause for great concern. Be wise my friends…

  1. My friend will inflict emotional and/or physical pain on me, hitting me violently or insulting me. They may or may not apologize, and excuse their behavior by saying it was only a joke or they were drunk. I know something is wrong and I must pay attention to the physical interactions of my friends. Don’t ignore the little things.
  2. The friend will never have a bad thing to say to my face. I know that I am not perfect so if my friend is always eager to give praise and never criticism, it offers a cover for subterfuge.
  3. The friend will use my resources with abandon. Having no concern over the economy of my money and supplies they will waste and spend mine without a thought.
  4. Strategic placement of needs. It seems the friend is always short on resources every time I’m around them. They are in “need” all the time and in short order they will let me know that “need”, subtly mentioning it and moving on.
  5. When my friend has opportunity to defend me, such as in gossip about me, they will not, especially when it means putting themselves in harm’s way.
  6. I make excuses for my friend’s behavior. As soon as I start this I begin a selfdeception that allows them unlimited access to ruin me. Don’t ignore what they did, it shows who they are.
  7. My friend “eyeball’s” my belongings and/or my girl. Noticing it once is normal, but to keep mentioning it and/or to be caught looking at it often is a danger sign.
  8. I do nice things for them all the time. There is a limit, if I keep on with my provision it will breed an attitude of bitterness and envy as they regret that they “asked” me, “needed” me, or had to pretend so.
  9. Their attitude is flippant with me. They pass my needs on casually and my pain is treated lightly.
  10. They do things for me that they never do normally. This is setting the bait. Their behavior contradicts their normal course. They usually precede their actions with, “I don’t normally do this….” or “I shouldn’t do this”. In other words I’m going to OWE them something, whether it’s stated plainly or not, farther down the road it will be used against me.
  11. I find myself obligated by their courses of action, especially obligated to do what violates my conscience. When I feel obligated and they don’t, they can pull me into their deception, while keeping their distance. 
    We will do well to notice these things and take into account that not all are friends that make our acquaintance and some delight to do harm and see us fall.

Prayers – Forgive Me For My Body

The following is a post by descendingascension, a young woman with exceptional talent. Enjoy.

Oh my God!
Forgive me for my body,
For it has been dealt sins of the flesh.
This child, with bright eyes,
A child no more,
But there, a woman
Teary eyes and full bosomed
Betrayed into womanhood,
Not by child
But by deceivers with sweet tongues and quick hands
Such motions to seduce a body

Forgive me Father!
This body can bear no more.
With its fullness
The wretchedness of flesh memories

Oh my Lord, I pray
Not for forgiveness,
For within myself it is scant,
But for penance.

Out of Heaven and Hell,
Love was created
And the demons unleashed unto me.
Fallen a soul
Once an angel with honest intent,
Yet I sacrificed the keys to the gates when I spoke his name
And tore off my wings with bodily shame

Now!
I am condemned a mortal
To wander and roam;
To be left to my devices
And vices
In purgatory;
Alone.

-R.S.L.S


First published in descendingascension

All In – Reasons why I bet it all

“The value of a man resides in what he gives and not in what he is capable of receiving.” Albert Einstein

 pewpewlazerz

 You mock me when I place my whole being on a relationship you believe is a total loss. Let me tell you why I place all my chips on this roll of the dice…
I see the beauty overlooked by hasty and careless lovers

I see the hope in her intelligence, which she hid because she was told to be seen and not heard

I see the potential in her crazy wild rebellion, it chases the common fools away

I see the wonder in mischievous eyes, her wildness never tamed

I see the strength born from the violent men she has endured and survived

I see the determination to never give up, though the world laughs at her struggle

I see the passion that only a woman of character and spiritual vitality can bring

I see the scars that others gave her, trying to mar the beauty she wouldn’t give

I see the ravages that nature gave trying to lash her to the grave

I see the marvel of a woman, a companion, and a warrior by my side.

A woman, pure and undefiled, strong and wise, passionate and tender deserving of my gamble for the privilege to stand by her.

Also published in Broowaha Magazine