Beyond Skin –

 “The finest clothing made is from a persons own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this” – Mark Twain

I can see the glow, coming from beyond skin

spinning without forethought, a plan birthed in divinity

giving place to free will, a path of infamy

I can see the glow, coming from beyond skin

Take the vast and mythical and explain it

No way to understand, no way to tame it

I found it there, hiding beyond skin

Satiated I take the sheath of your soul

And make it mine, beyond my walls of show

When I take what’s beyond skin

All the wild worlds of you become mine

An expansive universe that’s skipping time

 

First published in Opinionsofeye

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Self Deceived –

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov  

*

khodnevis

Coming from nowhere, appearing within,
Came a thought born in weakness
It wore a disarming grin

Innocent at first, it seemed to be all true
I believed the thought as it was
There seemed nothing I could do

As in a wild fire, all the facts would burn
Self deception at its best

Makes it impossible to learn 

 

First published in Opinionsofeye.com

01152012

Crash – Their choices, your demise

“Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.” – Joseph Addison



Expecting a crumpling low buckling sound of screaming metal as the car slid sideways, the world spun by, lights flashing on every revolution. With a sudden jolt and crunch, I wrapped my world around the telephone pole of wantonness. The crash owned me, the unexpected result of decisions made without knowledge of the wreckage about to be imposed on my world. 

I shut the door of my travels with a solid thud, and adjusted my mirrors. Putting the seat belt of my expectations securely in place with a snap, not knowing this same preparation may kill me as well as help me, I took off into the darkness. Acceleration comes easy, this way’s familiar to me. Comfortable with my situation, I stop without thinking to pick her up, after all, I’m in charge of this ride, what do I have to fear? Rain blew in when I opened the door, the few drops drawing attention to changing times. The speed felt good, my instincts guiding me through a thousands of choices as I reached speeds exceeding the limits imposed by order and wisdom. My life is able to handle this, I’ve built my engines of purpose and survival to last and persevere under the stress of the journey. With the wind in our hair I, with startled revelation, spun around with her, seeing the whole thing coming to a massive and heart wrenching conclusion. In all my confidence, I forgot that other drivers make choices too and those choices were causing my demise in this crazy, wild, no holds barred finality. How did this happen to me? Reasons are left unanswered as I breath my last through gargled gasps and see our bodies mangled in the aftermath. It happens to us all, soon the vehicle of our life will, with or without our choice, end up in an ugly crash. Be wise young soul, no matter how fast your car or skilled your operation, people that drive around can wreck you, without your thought or choice, in a most exquisite crash.

Crash – Their choices, your demise

“Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense.” – Joseph Addison



Expecting a crumpling low buckling sound of screaming metal as the car slid sideways, the world spun by, lights flashing on every revolution. With a sudden jolt and crunch, I wrapped my world around the telephone pole of wantonness. The crash owned me, the unexpected result of decisions made without knowledge of the wreckage about to be imposed on my world. 

I shut the door of my travels with a solid thud, and adjusted my mirrors. Putting the seat belt of my expectations securely in place with a snap, not knowing this same preparation may kill me as well as help me, I took off into the darkness. Acceleration comes easy, this way’s familiar to me. Comfortable with my situation, I stop without thinking to pick her up, after all, I’m in charge of this ride, what do I have to fear? Rain blew in when I opened the door, the few drops drawing attention to changing times. The speed felt good, my instincts guiding me through a thousands of choices as I reached speeds exceeding the limits imposed by order and wisdom. My life is able to handle this, I’ve built my engines of purpose and survival to last and persevere under the stress of the journey. With the wind in our hair I, with startled revelation, spun around with her, seeing the whole thing coming to a massive and heart wrenching conclusion. In all my confidence, I forgot that other drivers make choices too and those choices were causing my demise in this crazy, wild, no holds barred finality. How did this happen to me? Reasons are left unanswered as I breath my last through gargled gasps and see our bodies mangled in the aftermath. It happens to us all, soon the vehicle of our life will, with or without our choice, end up in an ugly crash. Be wise young soul, no matter how fast your car or skilled your operation, people that drive around can wreck you, without your thought or choice, in a most exquisite crash.

So Your Confused About Me – A friends disturbing confession

 “You have a perfect right to consign us all to hell, rector, but you must allow us the choice of how we get there.Angus Wilson, The Pan Book of Horror Stories

judgementalrocks

A friend of mine shared this with me:


OK, yes I am a christian. I was born again spirit filled when I was 14. I spent the next 16 years of my life in ministry. I witnessed on the street. I led a bible study in high school, even sang worship songs in the halls with my guitar. I went to Christian College to get a degree to be a missionary. I was a youth pastor, bible teacher, worship leader, and whatever else I could do to talk about Jesus. I argued with pastors, teachers, other religions. I used my intellect to force many to concede to my truths. HOWEVER, there are two worlds inside me. That world is real, but, I have a horribly stained, damaged and wild side to me that has a rage that is incomparable, a lust unquenchable, and desire to please you that will make me compromise my own identity and security. So, I can see your confused, I help you, not just to help you, but because I feel like I HAVE to. You suspect somethings up, your right. If your a woman, I will likely lust after you. I will show you love, whether or not you want it and if I’m rejected then I’ll go off in a rage and take back all I gave you. OK, so, yes, I’m not perfect. Yes, I’m strange. Yes, I’m likely to flip on a dime if you hurt me and tear your head off. I’m likely to flip on dime if you don’t hurt me and tear your head off. You see I live in extremes. I’m either extremely in love with you, or I extremely hate you and wish you dead. I’m going all the way to help you or leave you lying there. My fault, I am changing though. Here is where my Christianity helps me. You think it a great offense when I say “FUCK YOU” or get pissed and beat someone’s ass or show signs of sexual desire and you mumble how unchristian I am. What you don’t realize is that I really want to hang your body on a meat hook and strangle you with your own intestines. No, really. Do you see how christian I am now by just saying “FUCK YOU”? Don’t look at the little “wrongs” I do, realize that in my nature of extremes, the fact that its a little wrong is actually a good thing, for both of us. Moderation in all things, that is my goal. Sorry if I offend you with my duality, my dichotomy as I like to refer it. But I do care, I do believe, and I am changing for the better. So if you are confused about me, you have a right to be so. So put that in your judgmental pipe and smoke it.