The Violation of…

“… you don’t have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.” Jane Green, Bookends 

You shout at me, I try to ignore what you do
Your always there, I try to behave
You won’t let me be alone, I don’t want a shadow
You don’t let me talk, I’m too loud
You will
never give up, I try to run
You make me afraid, I make excuses
You intimidate my friends, I try to explain
You hide and peek at me, I can’t know where you are
You intrude on my privacy, I just want to be alone
You threaten my existence, I just want to be safe
You make me do things, I’m embarrassed to say
You sink lower in your life, I watch you fall
You struggle to bring me down, I struggle to breathe
You will not win, I’ll survive

You will not change me, I’ll be hard
You will not violate me again, I will kill

Also Published in Broowaha
12152010

The Specter Of Love

“The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted.”― Mahatma Gandhi

Be advised that I take artistic license in the expressions and creations I present in my posts. Forewarned is forearmed, proceed at your own risk. 

Freakingnews

“Listening for the chirp, the space sounds of my phone
Everything stops when it rings,
My whole body tense, waiting for the vibration of her call
Everything stops when I wait for her
Early morning when it rings, I open my eyes
Everything stops when I wake to her
A text, proclaiming her rejection of me
Everything stops when I understand
She is with my friend, he is fucking her
Everything stops when I kill”
Everything Stops,  D.M.W. Sager

I take a deep breath. Jealousy. A cruel and unrelenting task master, holding me hostage, threatening my lover with violence. How quickly love turns to anger and hate. How quick the one you love can turn and violate you. Love excels at changing both itself and others. I watch as I leave all I know about myself and life; all my beliefs fall to the wayside as I follow hard after what I “love”. I watch my identity crumble in my pursuit, it consumes me. There’s no escape from its hold, the arms of another fan the flames into white hot tongues of searing pain. I compromise my safety, stepping into the line of fire, nothing will prevent me from protecting my love. It’s not a person that I protect, it’s my feelings. When I find that it’s my love that I follow, not her, conviction binds me. Love is separate in this deranged sense. Love becomes a living entity in me, demanding I make room for it, controlling my actions and thoughts. Love must be constrained by other rules to keep it in check and keep it pure. I must rise above it. Love, pure good and pure evil. It disguises itself, hiding among other feelings and manifesting in the strangest of ways. The vilest thoughts arise out of “love”. Beware of love uncontrolled, it’ll easily lead to destruction, agony, and death. Motives that should be pure, become tainted, then, suddenly, drastically, everything stops.
“Do you know what its like to lie in wait for someone? To settle yourself in the cold drizzle of winter, controlling the shivers, quiet, the gun by your side? Eyes strained to see movement in the blackness, heart pumping from adrenalin of the chase. Do you know what it’s like to wait to kill the one you love?” – The Specter Of Love
Also published in Broowaha Magazine

02272012

Imposter – Revenge is not mine

“Everything I want to hear, or afraid to
Spoken with sweetness, I’m lied to
Clothed in harlot’s dresses, draw me close
Words sweet in duress, imposter I chose
Winking with sultry eyes, words conceal
My ruin never to come, imposter revealed”
– DMW

 

League

Sitting right next to me, I know what you just said. How can you just smile at me? What hardness must come over your heart to slide the knife of hatred and slander through my ribs, pushing deeper with every traitorous word? Taking joy in my pain, clapping your hands in my suffering, slow yourself down. Today it is my lot to take on these trials, but soon, my Judas, the dish of pain will be yours to savor. Your punishment will be sure as the rising of the sun; and gradual though it may be, the full heat of the day will bear on your life, burning the flesh of your cowardly soul. Joy is not mine, as it was yours, to see suffering, I wish for you to learn the error of your wayward tongue. Perhaps you will grow, or perhaps you will perish; karma has you pinned down now and soon you will see, with vivid detail, the writhing of a suffering a soul, for it will be yours only to bear that heavy load.

Shadow – Lessons from a dark friend

“Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?”Henry David Thoreau  

tihku

It is an image unlike any living visage, stretching further, a distortion that discerns reality. This is the shadow. The position of light influences the distortion of it, happening without my conscious decision. My only control is where I place myself in reference to the light. What is the light that I stand in? Where will this light strike me? This determines the length and breadth of my darkened friend. If run from that light I find darkness with every step. When I face the light, my path lit with comforting revelation. it’s discouraging at first, to see my faults and missteps in the glaring brightness, but it’s comforting to find that at least I am dealing with reality. This reality is always harsh, but it provides facts that help me to face change.

It’s a difficult and unnerving venture into light’s reality. There are benefits though. I can see farther down my path to the repercussions of my actions. This brings hope. Hope allows me to take bolder steps into the light. It is not for me to know my faults and shrink back in fear, but to grapple my choices, both those that are made in the past and those being made at the moment, discerning them and learning. 
Learning can happen without having to experience the actions contemplated. Watching my fellow companions walk in the light, or walking away, brings an illustration to my lessons. In either case, light is important. When walking away, the light shows the way back. When walking into it, it shows the way to stay in it. Come my shadow, let me watch you carefully, letting your blackened representation be a guide to the truth and bringing assurance of my direction. 

Also published in Broowaha Magazine

Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #7 A Higher Source

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:” Proverbs 9:1. The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.”

Pillar #7 A Higher Source

On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.”

Each of us is born with the potential for the unfolding of our true self. When you deviate from the truth, you are interfering with the intention of something greater than you are – call it nature or a higher power. As a result, you develop discomfort.”
– Unknown

Abstaining from religious cliche’s and forms makes describing this last pillar difficult. The idea is that wisdom must have a source, greater than itself to appeal to. Some call it a “higher power”, a philosophy, a teacher, a leader, or any number of nomenclatures, all referring to the idea that someone or something has the power to inspire me beyond egocentricity. Isolation cannot be tolerated, though it is useful for growth, wisdom must be exercised in real life scenarios. I can be wise on my own, but let an argument start between my brother and I, and watch as the heat of emotion finds the weaknesses of my solitude. The two must work together, wisdom hammered out on my own, but submitted to another higher source, tested outside of my safe zone. A higher source exists, it behooves you to find it, appeal to it, and listen to it.

Lover – A Passion With Words

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.” Robert Frost

A reblogged post from Descending Ascension

loveendlesslyforevermore

My lover draws twine and yarn past my lips.

Threading words through my mind.
Coiling and winding ‘round my neck,
only letting pass words of breadth
My lover lets me liken glass to diamonds,
and forget the time.
Passionate and gentle.
Pulling me into a feverish passion.
Stopping my breath with a single word,
a simple phrase,
a quiet truth,
my lover knows how to look past my ruse.
Each passing moment is spent filled with the emotions evoked by such passions
Turmoil,
Desire,
Sorrow,
Joy.
Caressing me.
Tenderly kissing 
every page of my body.
Sighing my verse.
Let me write our love.
Demanding no physical touch.
Merely heartfelt words,
restraining our touch 
only to be released through the words on this page.
You understand this is my love.
My writings are my lover,
and I it’s suitor.
-R.S.L.S

Reluctantly Crouched At the Starting Line

The following article was written by a good friend and fellow blogger, Joey Flowers. Enjoy.
Honestly, there were SO many emotions running through me when my situation started. And at times those emotions do resurface. It happens to all of us. One of those emotions was fear. Fear of what was going to happen. Fear of the uncertain future. Fear that I wasn’t going to make it. But with time, I began to be less fearful, and more optimistic. Sure, there still is uncertainty, but sometimes we just have to play it by ear, and take it as it comes. We can’t let fear, or reluctance take over. We need to take the first step in order to advance.
When you think about it, I guess it’s our “survival” instinct that kicks in when we become scared and uncertain. We hesitate, and eventually stall. We need to learn that even when things are not in our favor, or it looks difficult and the odds are stacked against us, we need to get ready, and race to where we want to be.
“Audacity augments courage; hesitation, fear”. – Publilius Syrus

Published in The Ballad Of Joey Flowers