Hindsight

“Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”
Charles Bukowski
skins
The morning after, it’s plain to see,
the drunken mistakes, you did to me
Your eyes are teary, with stains of sorrow
I’m hardened to that, it’ll happen tomorrow
As the sun sets fear, sings lullabies
Soon you’ll be home, bringing hell and goodbyes
Again the saddest story is now told
I’m becoming a drunk too, as I grow old
You stained my mind, with intoxicated words
Breaking my soul, with your scourge
this morning tells a story, of my final plea
I lay this bottle down, because you have become me.
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Beyond

“It is impossible to suffer without making someone else pay for it; every complaint already contains revenge.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

twindle
“You’ve such kind eyes sir, full of sorrow not all your own.”
Thank you kindly, but you don’t see, all that rages beyond.
A slasher lives, who wants to burn and pillage, watching
those who are proud to suffer humiliation and pain, like
what they did to me and to my loves. My innocence
ravaged, I only want to burn, my slashing blades edge
finding their neck. To see their flesh bubble and burst,
their tongues swell with pain and heat, just a little
revenge on those who with violence reign and terrorize,
I’ll burn their Babylon with brimstone and hot black oil.
The trouble comes when, without expression on those,
someone will pay and perhaps not one who deserves it.
An unsuspecting soul, who in a fit of unlucky anger,
raises a fist to the slasher and the fury is unleashed.

The Music – Music brings a release

 “Without music, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

I turned the music on today.

I let the pain work its way out and through
my heart to my eyes,
welling up with watery release

I turned the music on today.
I let the tears come rolling on in and down
my face to my lips,
tasting my salty sorrow.

I turned the music on today.
I felt all of it rolling around and across
I let myself go
from my life in this dark room.

I turned the music on today… 

Also published in: Broowaha

12062011 



"Why?" – Questions are answered tomorrow

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language.”

 

 
sensosketch

When the storm rages on the oceans way, 

“Why?” is not a question for the gales stay.

When the earth trembles and shakes us deep, 
“Why?” is not a question we should keep.

When the starry skies shed their bright lights, 
“Why?” is not a question for that dark night.

Reap the strong currents of dire sorrow,
 “Why?” is answered only by tomorrow…

06222012

Cleft Derision

“…independent and brave, and sure of himself and of the importance of his work, because if he isn’t he will never survive the scorching blasts of derision that will probably greet his first efforts.”

derision preemption – a life-style tactic; the refusal to go out on any sort of emotional limb so as to avoid mockery from peers.”- 

Sorrow is better than laughter, she whispered

Sharpening the knife of her concupiscence

Drawing a razor’s edge across the wrist of commitment


Tears define your purpose and cleanse your soul, she mumbled

Hacking at the cords of her errant desire

Carving the yearning arms of safety and family


Cries hone the instincts and rebuke complacency, she sang

Slicing through passion with words of dark rejection

Cutting with lust and splittinghearts asunder in cleft derision

05222012

Change of Light – Following that which changes you

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer




Holding my hands close together, I formed a tenuous cup to hold the growing ball of light. Spreading its warmth through my body and then through the room, it grew whiter with power not of this world, nor of that, but from the synergy of conflict and need present in my heart and in the heart of the tree dwellers. My incantation wasn’t of an arcane sort, but a prayer to the assembly of clouds, gathering to see the trial of feelings. He trespassed against the royal ordinance of the reigning king, his passion and impudence seen in his actions, for his dancing and mourning vacillated all day and night through the weeks. The light now affected the countenance of all in the room, faces showing the betrayal of their minds against their self control, for in spite of themselves, a feeling of joy spread through the room like mist in the valleys of darkened forests. I released my spell with a loud clap, and with relief observed the judges and juries of my peers change with the passing seconds. My point was clear, we can all change when our environment changes. This example pressed all to note that feelings should never lead, when light, objective light, can change even the dampened sorrow and tepid happiness of our habitual thoughts. To yield control to that light which can change us, to capture control of feelings, this is where the transformation begins…

Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #3 – Seriousness

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:” Proverbs 9:1. The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.  

– Helen Keller, (1880-1968) 

A continually full stomach, a life absent from suffering, void of enemies, full of fun and hedonistic pleasure, will make me soft and foolish, spoiled and demanding, empty of wisdom and hardened to its courting calls. Sorrow, the winds of adversity, great pressure and trouble, will keep me sharp and on my game. Seriousness is a gift born from suffering. Desire suffering over a life of ease and fullness. However it works in my life, wisdom requires a serious attitude to come of age. Foolish entertainments and company will corrupt good wisdom and good habits. I must beware of long periods of ease and content, it will likely fuel my descent away from wisdom. Embracing the hard times of life will make me fertile for the seeds of wisdom to take root, guarantee their fruitfulness, and an atmosphere ideal for their growth.