Unseen Damage – Abuse leaves problems, don’t ignore them

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone actually change. I’m talking about a drastic, spin around, burnout, going in the other direction, change. Then I realized, the change needed to happen in me. It’s amazing how a simple change like an attitude adjustment, can affect how you see others. Now the change part, I had things I needed to change long before I realized that I needed to change them. It’s that way most of the time, in fact, if I see the need to change, I’ve already begun to live the miracle. I’ll explain in a practical example from my experience: If I’ve been the victim of a violent crime, especially a sexual crime, I HAVE something that NEEDS to be dealt with. I was affected, regardless of what I think, regardless of how I have “handled” it; it has affected me in ways I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m not saying I have “victim” mentality, only that I must realize that I’ll have damage that I’m not aware of. This damage can go unnoticed for years at times. I’ve seen numerous signs of this damage throughout my life: fear for no reason, addiction, depression, loneliness, despair, confusion, hyper vigilance, violent outbursts, and an evil foreboding whenever I’m happy. These are some of the effects and each of us may have more or less damage, but, damage none the less. To deal with this damage, talk about it with someone who has gone through it or has experience helping those who have gone through it. I’ve found spiritual pursuits to bring some relief, i.e. prayer, and church support groups. Writing and music helped me through the dark days. There are many ways to get through it, but, you must actively address the issues that have damaged you. May God give us direction in healing these wounds. Be strong my friend, we can be whole again.