Pleasure Of Pain – An addict’s suffering

“Addictions that plague our friends, family, and neighbors bring pain, both for the user and those who try in vain to love them in spite of the torturous twists and turns of their habit. To the addict: There are no easy answers, don’t stop trying, get back up and keep on fighting.” – Healey’s First Law Of Holes: When in one, stop digging. ― Denis Healey

elements4health

Alone again in a cheap hotel room
The small TV flickering
The nasty images tempting
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

Been everywhere, feeling nothing
Trying to recover, going nowhere
On the sticky carpet falling
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

Fears from everywhere I hear
Muffled screams from the room next door
The dirty mirror reflecting
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

It’s all gone, money is low
One more call, one more go
The old a/c is struggling
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

Collapse, need to get out
Twist and turn from the pain
The phone light is blinking
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

Sounds exploding out of silence
Flinching in paranoid terror
So lonely, no one’s coming
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

This is fun? (no!) This is exciting? (tears fall)
This is what I live for? (deep sigh)
My future’s a pay by week hotel room (God…help me)
Putting my fate in the Pleasure of Pain

12152010

Scream

 

motionlessgirl

Can you hear me when I scream? Deep in the water, with sounds muted by cascades, can you hear me? What would you do if you heard me? How would you help? I’m your son, daughter, mother, or friend and you have to listen to hear the scream, “HELP ME”. You don’t know how to help, but when you ignore our cry, you push the blade in deeper. It’s not your fault, we have no other destiny than to hurt ourselves, or perhaps kill our destiny with the blade of reality. Lost love, estranged children, our mind wounded, poverty, careers gone, health suffering, with these we draw the razor. Just look us in the eyes as we pass, and say you care, and perhaps, just maybe, hold our hands while we go on to the dark night.