Muddy Water

“Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.”― Lao Tzu

shittypanty

I watched the muddy waters gather together in a dance of spinning debris, a mix of delights and sorrows, flotsam on turbulence pouring itself over the edge, disappearing beneath the ground, never a clue as to where it went. My face broke free from the brackish murk, gasping and gulping, air and water mixing on the palette of my soul. I’m not a fish, nor am I entirely comfortable on land, perhaps I’m an amphibian. I can switch to one or the other, and it sufficiently explains my dichotomy. When I am forced by circumstances, or emotional upheaval, to commit to one side or the other, it presents a challenge. Life is a flight or fight response for me, and continues to be in this hyper vigilant state. This is the ride I live on, my emotions are the tracks, which I leave on more than a few occasions, and I spin on waters of joy and depression, disappearing into the voids of social experience, gasping to say a few final words, does anyone hear me?

Compassionate War

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
Brene Brown

“If one fights with compassion, then victory” – Lao Tzu
 

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It’s a war

to reach out and get smacked back
to help and get pushed down
to trust and be betrayed
to love and be despised
Show compassion at any cost.

11032011

Compassionate War

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
Brene Brown

“If one fights with compassion, then victory” – Lao Tzu
 

encrypted-tbn1

It’s a war

to reach out and get smacked back
to help and get pushed down
to trust and be betrayed
to love and be despised
Show compassion at any cost.

11032011

Tug O War – Playing Games With Anger

“If you are losing a tug-of-war with a tiger, give him the rope before he gets to your arm. You can always buy a new rope.” Gunther, Max

“The best fighter is never angry.” ― Lao Tzu

I grabbed the knotted cloth with my hand, hung on tight and shook it in front on my ever willing mutt, Thor. He responded by latching on and shaking it so vigorously I nearly lost hold. I teased him for a moment, and then used him for a floor mop because despite my best efforts, he wouldn’t let go. This made me laugh and smile, and even video tape him for a YouTube post. Millions have done the same thing, making the rage of the hunt and nurture of the kill a funny moment, inspiring it and laughing only because they controlled that instinct. That’s how it is with my anger.

Those who are comfortable with it, shake the rope, knowing they’re in control. It took me a long time, with my temper flaring at every waved knotted circumstance, to understand this response. What I did in these conflicts was reflect the built up anger in me. After many years of testing and fighting every challenge, it is enough. I quit. I’m tired of my anger being used against me. I’m holding back my anger, and resisting the challenges, leaving the players scratching their head, “Your not behaving like you should, why aren’t you pulling back?” Not every fight needs fighting and not every challenge needs answering. So, that little rope your waving, the rope of conflict, jealousy, anger, or whatever it is you choose to challenge me with, keep it, I’m not participating in your game. I’m aware that to control myself is my biggest challenge and to live in peace, following peace, is the biggest advantage.