Recovery is a Four Letter Word

“We often miss opportunity because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work”
Thomas A. Edison
 

Recovery is a four letter word. Not the cliché recovery like addicts use, but, the kind of recovery that every successful and joyful human being has to initiate on a regular basis. Having the tenacity to lay down a bad relationship and carry on, face a business mistake or failure and come back to win, publicly humiliate myself and still hold my head up high and in spite of all having a life well lived to the envy of all my naysayers. The ability to come back from the edge is indispensable to living my life with happiness and accomplishment, it’s the essence of all joy and success.  By limiting my forward advancement with past mistakes or foibles, I’ve effectively short circuited my hope, dreams, loves, and triumphs. Do yourself a favor, come back from that disappointment, failure, or relationship and try again, don’t give up…you can succeed at whatever you believe, so believe the best about yourself, and enjoy your recovery. Recovery is a four letter word, WORK. Just do it. 

Also published in Broowaha 
04182011

Brother Trouble and Sister Joy

“You are wrong if you think Joy emanates only or principally from human relationships. God has placed it all around us. It is in everything and anything we might experience. We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.” ― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
 

omaradel

Not understanding that the two siblings play together, teasing each other and producing a rich experience of life, I usually preferred Joy. Perhaps if I knew only her, life would lose its seasoning, and become bland by contempt of habitual familiarity. It happens though, that after one the other follows, quickly changing the tenor and taste of the ordinary and predictable, into the sublime and extraordinary. The salt of Trouble brings the delight of Joy on the palate of the soul. I take them both, as members of the same family of life that bring a depth and fortitude as well as a lightness and serendipity to this troublesome joy of living.

Muddy Water

“Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.”― Lao Tzu

shittypanty

I watched the muddy waters gather together in a dance of spinning debris, a mix of delights and sorrows, flotsam on turbulence pouring itself over the edge, disappearing beneath the ground, never a clue as to where it went. My face broke free from the brackish murk, gasping and gulping, air and water mixing on the palette of my soul. I’m not a fish, nor am I entirely comfortable on land, perhaps I’m an amphibian. I can switch to one or the other, and it sufficiently explains my dichotomy. When I am forced by circumstances, or emotional upheaval, to commit to one side or the other, it presents a challenge. Life is a flight or fight response for me, and continues to be in this hyper vigilant state. This is the ride I live on, my emotions are the tracks, which I leave on more than a few occasions, and I spin on waters of joy and depression, disappearing into the voids of social experience, gasping to say a few final words, does anyone hear me?

Cloudy In My Mind

“Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.” ― Ernest Hemingway 
“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.” ― Mark Twain
 

simply-earth

The drop hit me by surprise and spread down my cheek. I looked up expecting the obligatory dark clouds gathering like a group of teenagers looking for trouble, and instead saw the silvery hair of ancient softly graying geriatric clouds sauntering off across the open fields. Wiping the residue of my encounter away, I longed for more so I ran after them, trying the whole while to catch a few errant leftovers. My experience with happiness is the unexpected, and sparking my interest, I chase after whatever appears to have caused it. When panting and exhausted I collapsed in my desperate pursuit, I realized that what I sought wasn’t on the outside, it’s on the inside. It sounds like a cliché, the way running sounds to a jogger, but, I never ran before and the way I feel when I finally do is sweeter than a cliché. So pardon me while I sit here in this field and wait for the breezes bringing rain, coming not from across the valley, but from inside my soul, wetting me with the refreshing delight of inundated joy.

Tear Drop

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer…and everything collapses. ” – Colette
atriptomywonderland
I’ll never be without them, they follow me everywhere, when I feel their finally gone, with vengeance they find me again, forcing themselves on me, insisting that I acknowledge them. I scarcely can resist their efforts, so enduring and persistent they’ve become. I give them place, being preeminent in my existence, being associated always with me, my companions, never to leave. I entertain them now, with some resistance, allowing them to have their way with me, to work me into submission. As I give way to them, I stand back, in my mind wondering, perhaps this is the way I must go, to walk with them and be taught by them; it’s a hard way. When joy is born, quickly they are taken from me, teasing me by allowing me to feel a moment’s respite. I go on now, taking them with me, forgive me if leave a few of them on your shoulder

also published in Broowaha

12082011 

Clash – Fighting’s end

“Be calm in arguing; for fierceness makes error a fault, and truth discourtesy.” 

Laying down arms in this battle of wills
I relinquish my slowly ebbing joy.


Gathering the scattered detritus of battles 
long fought in ephemeral evenings light.

Closing the books on tired exercises of futility 
leaving blank covers to sleep alone.

Nothing left beyond the zero total of wasted 
love and hope in an eternities time.

Heartbreaking this clash of hell bent souls 
losing all to make their own way.

A Dance With Peace – Thankfulness

 “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. 

 

changing-my-ways

Thoughts rush as the rising of the tide

Feeling the surge of water,
stating an undeniable purpose.


Inevitable force pushing the emotion of
my perceived condition away.


Searching for contentedness,
everywhere to be found


Coming from a revelation
of the placement of my soul


Giving myself to gratitude,
it removes the blinders


Leaving only the peace that dances with me
in joy of my discovery

Also published in Wingposse, November 2012