Blur –

 “Our time together was a blur—not because I was drunk, which I was, but because our love was like the beating of a hummingbird’s wings.
”
Jarod Kintz, My love can only occupy one person at a time
wikipedia
Bodies finding their way back to earth,
goaded on by the great Shepard age.
Flocks of words begging to forgive,
left wandering amidst endless space.
Loving souls are cracked forever,
scars litter the way to this.
History is written with permanence,
by blue flames this ink will fade.
You can’t see the endless stars,
with blinding tears in your eyes.
With a short goodbye they blur,
The beauty missed carried on by one.
First Published in Opinions Of Eye

Spiritual Guidance –

“She’s not showing any interest in me and she looks like she doesn’t want to be here. Should I take off her handcuffs? I thought kidnap victims were supposed to fall in love with their captors?
” ― Jarod Kintz
 

horrorchic87

Help me! I can’t see and my eye is swollen and throbbing, my lips cracked and parched, and I taste blood. He has me bound and my breathing’s painful from what I think are my broken ribs. I cough up blood and spit it out on my dress, why did I think he’d take care of me, protect me and guide me? That innocent dream’s gone as I hear the sound of his breathing in the next room. Does anyone know I’m here? Does anyone care? I should’ve made different choices, followed advice, and been more careful. This is my fault isn’t it? I begged for this he said, because I dressed the way I did. My walk was the lure, because my hips swayed a little too much, because I was confident and had long hair that fueled his desire. I struggled against the stiffness settling in on my body and mind, perhaps the shock’s wearing off. God I hope someone is praying for me. I feel around trying to find something that will help me out of here. As I fumbled around I bumped the door and it budged! Peering out of the small crack I see evidence of him all over, liquor bottles and clutter. Opening the door a little farther and I notice that he’s passed out on the chair with drug shit all over the table in front of him. Seeing my chance , I struggled to stand and barely made it up before falling with a thud on the floor. A shudder of stifled terror filled my panicked breaths believing that the fall would wake him. With my head on the floor I saw a knife just at the edge of the couch. With great effort I managed to get my hands on it, and began cutting the leather belt that held my hands. Damn the movies make this look easy, but it takes for fucking ever to do it and I manage to give myself quite a few slices before I’m actually am free. My adrenaline is kicking in hard but it beats back the haze that’s growing over my thoughts and making me dizzy when I stand. I hold the knife firmly, thinking that as I work my way past him I would drive it right through his eye, but I didn’t, I just wanted out of here and a chance to live. I didn’t think I wanted to live and I’m ashamed now knowing how bad I just want out of this and to be alive. I opened the door and ran through the street grabbing a cab that happened to be dropping off his passenger. I should go to the cops, but I don’t, I just go back to my apartment. He knows me and he’ll be back, after all, every pastor should know where the ladies in his congregation live.

Also published in Opinionsofeye.com

Leaving – The Death of Love

“With my last breath, I’ll exhale my love for you. I hope it’s a cold day, so you can see what you meant to me.
” 
 

radikal

I gave love the last burst of my precious energy, 
hoping to revive her before she passed on to the light. 
No shock on earth could ever start her heart again, 
growing cold as stone before my eyes. 
The hardness creeps in like darkness at sunset, 
first intriguing and beautiful, but then, a cold wind 
blows from the darkness, night is coming. 
One last chance I gave love, I started a fire in her, 
using all the dead things I had in me as fuel. 
Nevertheless, she refused to breathe. 
Now I feel her life ebbing from my soul. 
Her presence evaporating from my heart. 
Left with the cracked parched earth of my soul, 
thirsty for wetness, she refuses to live. 
Have you ever felt someone leaving your soul?

Have you ever felt someone leaving your soul?
Also published in Broowaha

Damn This Circle – Catch 22

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type. 
”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over. 
She loved me, never forgetting.
I loved another, I’m now regretting.
Now I wonder, if I should try,
to love again, to say goodbye.
Damn this circle, it torments only.
Now left alone, desperately lonely.

11102011

Damn This Circle – Catch 22

“The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type. 
”
Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They’re Over. 
She loved me, never forgetting.
I loved another, I’m now regretting.
Now I wonder, if I should try,
to love again, to say goodbye.
Damn this circle, it torments only.
Now left alone, desperately lonely.

11102011

An Ideal Death

“It’s so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it’s taking forever to come. Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

“She didn’t say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse “I love you” with “May I take your order?”

 


Pulled deeper, though I had no choice, yet the illusion is that I do. With the edge drawing near, I push against the rough limits of my captivity. Faced with a destiny of falling, in your eyes I see the trap. Both feet planted, earth piling up against my struggle for life, I take a deep and final breath, then jump off with no resistance as I thrust into you. My life has ended, with glee your eyes show your victory. I gave myself to you in the act of love, now my gift has become your weapon. Only one thing can control me, my soul. Using me against me, such a marvelous concept. You have perfected this betrayal of my soul against my mind in an exquisite manner. Whatever, its’ to late now, I fall without redemption, knowing I did this for you, but really for me. That’s what makes all of this so crazy, how easily I committed an emotional suicide. The lure of love, the utopia of ideals and concepts of how life should be, these are the real villains in this crime of passion. I sold my soul long ago to these fantasies, you only came to cash in on the deal.