Muddy Water

“Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.”― Lao Tzu

shittypanty

I watched the muddy waters gather together in a dance of spinning debris, a mix of delights and sorrows, flotsam on turbulence pouring itself over the edge, disappearing beneath the ground, never a clue as to where it went. My face broke free from the brackish murk, gasping and gulping, air and water mixing on the palette of my soul. I’m not a fish, nor am I entirely comfortable on land, perhaps I’m an amphibian. I can switch to one or the other, and it sufficiently explains my dichotomy. When I am forced by circumstances, or emotional upheaval, to commit to one side or the other, it presents a challenge. Life is a flight or fight response for me, and continues to be in this hyper vigilant state. This is the ride I live on, my emotions are the tracks, which I leave on more than a few occasions, and I spin on waters of joy and depression, disappearing into the voids of social experience, gasping to say a few final words, does anyone hear me?