Take The Leap

“All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.” – Henry Miller

“The most dangerous thing in the world is to try to leap a chasm in two jumps.”
– David Lloyd George

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I see it in your eyes, the pain you try to hide. Just beyond the beauty, right below the smile, lies the confusion, the pain of not knowing, the paralysis of indecision. You want to know for sure before you leap off that board of comfort. But you cannot know for sure, ever, that the leap your about to take is the right one. It’s that moment, when you step out of habitual comfort, out of imagined safety, it‘s that moment that a miracle of transformation, the creative motion of life, begins to reveal the you that you were created to be. God holds our hand to encourage us take the leap, only then will you see yourself and know by experience, the love of your creator.

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Slamming Doors – The sound of violence

“A door slamming makes one jump, but
it doesn’t make one afraid. What one fears
is the serpent that crawls underneath it.” – Collete

“Starting when I was a kid barely four,

I knew the beating was coming

by the sound of a slamming door

Picking myself up from off the cold floor

His bruises held my mind in fear

by the sound of a slamming door

Older now and wiser but still my soul abhors

the awful things that come and anger shown

by the sound of a slamming door”

 – DMW

How can I describe the feeling I get when a door slams? Hundreds of heartbreaking moments all carry that signature. I can tell when lives carry the heat of anger by the condition of the doors. Splintered frames, stripped hinges, door knobs shattered with pieces strewn around the room, the bottom of the door scraping the floor. I’ve locked doors, only to see them broken down by a significant other – be it a drunk father, jealous girlfriend, or some random hell bent soul. The sound impacts me psychologically now. It initiates a vigilance and tense anticipation of impending doom. It makes me mad, really mad, like a rage that crawls over me with it’s claws out. There are doors inside my heart as well. You can’t hear them but I do. Women slam them when they betray me, kids slam them when they reject me, and men slam them when they threaten me. I can’t turn off the feelings quick enough when I’m energized by the sound of the slamming doors. I long to live in peace, and right now, I feel real peaceful but wait, did you hear that? Nooooooooo!!!

Related Post: The Tub

Slamming Doors – The sound of violence

“A door slamming makes one jump, but
it doesn’t make one afraid. What one fears
is the serpent that crawls underneath it.” – Collete

“Starting when I was a kid barely four,

I knew the beating was coming

by the sound of a slamming door

Picking myself up from off the cold floor

His bruises held my mind in fear

by the sound of a slamming door

Older now and wiser but still my soul abhors

the awful things that come and anger shown

by the sound of a slamming door”

 – DMW

How can I describe the feeling I get when a door slams? Hundreds of heartbreaking moments all carry that signature. I can tell when lives carry the heat of anger by the condition of the doors. Splintered frames, stripped hinges, door knobs shattered with pieces strewn around the room, the bottom of the door scraping the floor. I’ve locked doors, only to see them broken down by a significant other – be it a drunk father, jealous girlfriend, or some random hell bent soul. The sound impacts me psychologically now. It initiates a vigilance and tense anticipation of impending doom. It makes me mad, really mad, like a rage that crawls over me with it’s claws out. There are doors inside my heart as well. You can’t hear them but I do. Women slam them when they betray me, kids slam them when they reject me, and men slam them when they threaten me. I can’t turn off the feelings quick enough when I’m energized by the sound of the slamming doors. I long to live in peace, and right now, I feel real peaceful but wait, did you hear that? Nooooooooo!!!

Related Post: The Tub

Death Brings Life – Breaking down faith

 “Unbeing dead isn’t being alive.” – E.E. Cummings

There’s something that happens when a man loses everything he believed in, everything he trusted, and stares death in the eyes. Emotional death, soulical death, mental death. These deaths have meaning when you fight your way back from them and find a faith that saves you. You must have a “death” experience for your faith to find a life changing foothold in your life. Unless you face this death, you are doomed to have a superficial and potentially meaningless faith. Don’t be scared when all you know dissolves into nothing. In this mess life is born, you’ll be beautiful when your “death” pushes you to a faith in God that no one will ever be able to shake and that will transform you into a beautiful being, the image of your Father in heaven.

A Hiding Place – Notes on fear and safety

“There are no ‘if’s’ in God’s world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety – let us pray that we may always know it!”
― Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Image Credit: 2sad-eyes

Safety is a relative term, as I can feel safe in places others can’t. The reverse is true as well, there are common things that cause me to feel threatened. Losing the feeling of safety is one of the effects of being the victim of a violent crime, especially a sexual assault. I despise this fear, and long for safety. Knowing better than to place my trust in a relationship, a group, a law, or even my own devices, I find that there is only one place I am completely sheltered, in the arms of my Father. When I am spending time with Him, He protects me and holds me, comforting me in my fears. There the feeling of safety is irrelevant, for in that moment I am truly safe. Who can touch me when His strong arms wrap my soul in warmth and his unending love comforts my conspiracies laden mind? Feelings of being safe will come if I discipline myself stay in that place where no man and no obscure terror can prevail. In that place I will sleep and laugh at the derision of men.

Also published in Broowaha Magazine 

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Give and It Will Be Given – Putting feet on the cliche

“False riches, consisting of money, houses and lands, acquired by selfish means at cost to others and thereafter used selfishly, are almost always used for the oppression of other persons.” – Joseph Franklin Rutherford
 

I really, really, want something. What I desired is irrelevant, but I determined to make it mine by committing all my resources to obtain it. A grand gesture for important goals, but topursue all my wants, at all costs, creates an egocentricity that breeds a discontent of mind and ill feelings in my social circles. As long as I live, there will be a long line of things, people, places, and emotions that will never satisfy. I‘ll always want more . A better way to live is to apply my resources to help meet the needs I see in people around me everyday. When I help meet their needs, my desires accompanied by a contented peace, will come to pass. This principle is represented in many spiritual disciplines by the cliche “do unto others”. A lifestyle reflecting this choice is contrary to the materialistic, grab-everything-I-can-regardless-of-the-consequences mindset in society today. As a child, I played a game called “Rough Take”. Someone would, either purposely or accidentally, drop an item. A yell of “rough take!” would ring out and we would rush in pushing, shoving, hitting, and using every dirty trick at our disposal to get it. Thismindset exists in society today. Throw a few dollars in the air on the street, and watch as people lose all civility to pick them up. My dear friends, today I challenge you to a higher level of thinking and living. Help those around you to get what they want and your needs will be met without the struggle of a “Rough Take”.