The Assassination of Love –

“Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life, a dichotomy in which you hate what you do so you can have pleasure in your spare time.”Pablo Picasso 


superstar666

It’s not possible for addiction and love to live together very long before they attack one another. Addiction to self, to substances, to work, to anything, will soon drain from love it’s very life and leave the shell of an empty relationship as evidence of the crime. Love rarely is able to defend itself from such an attack. Tragically the perpetrator isn’t found till long after the crime has been committed.  Many are the deaths love has suffered at the hands of the fiend of addiction. Do your lover a favor, quit now while you still have love breathing between you.

Related Post: Still
First published in Opinions Of Eye.com

05222014 

An Ideal Death

“It’s so strange how life works: You want something and you wait and wait and feel like it’s taking forever to come. Then it happens and it’s over and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

“She didn’t say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse “I love you” with “May I take your order?”

 


Pulled deeper, though I had no choice, yet the illusion is that I do. With the edge drawing near, I push against the rough limits of my captivity. Faced with a destiny of falling, in your eyes I see the trap. Both feet planted, earth piling up against my struggle for life, I take a deep and final breath, then jump off with no resistance as I thrust into you. My life has ended, with glee your eyes show your victory. I gave myself to you in the act of love, now my gift has become your weapon. Only one thing can control me, my soul. Using me against me, such a marvelous concept. You have perfected this betrayal of my soul against my mind in an exquisite manner. Whatever, its’ to late now, I fall without redemption, knowing I did this for you, but really for me. That’s what makes all of this so crazy, how easily I committed an emotional suicide. The lure of love, the utopia of ideals and concepts of how life should be, these are the real villains in this crime of passion. I sold my soul long ago to these fantasies, you only came to cash in on the deal.

A Hiding Place – Notes on fear and safety

“There are no ‘if’s’ in God’s world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety – let us pray that we may always know it!”
Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place
Image Credit: 2sad-eyes

Safety is a relative term, as I can feel safe in places others can’t. The reverse is true as well, there are common things that cause me to feel threatened. Losing the feeling of safety is one of the effects of being the victim of a violent crime, especially a sexual assault. I despise this fear, and long for safety. Knowing better than to place my trust in a relationship, a group, a law, or even my own devices, I find that there is only one place I am completely sheltered, in the arms of my Father. When I am spending time with Him, He protects me and holds me, comforting me in my fears. There the feeling of safety is irrelevant, for in that moment I am truly safe. Who can touch me when His strong arms wrap my soul in warmth and his unending love comforts my conspiracies laden mind? Feelings of being safe will come if I discipline myself stay in that place where no man and no obscure terror can prevail. In that place I will sleep and laugh at the derision of men.

Also published in Broowaha Magazine 

02242012

Bar Time – The way it is

“When I go to a bar, I don’t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.”  
David Brenner
olavstubberud

11 pm – And the pressure is on


Feeling no pain, inhibition gone


12 am – The game is in full swing

All the preparation for this thing


1 am – Soon the last call is made

This spot beside me is up for trade


2 am – A challenge there she stands

One more drink in her hands


3 am – We share the passion bed

Our love we switch for pain instead


4 am – I lay awake with open eyes

Without the high theres no disguise


5 am – I’m stirring and flipping still

She awakes and tries to feel


6 am – I’m the victim of my crime

Following hard in bar time