Pieces – Beautiful when held away from memories –

“Sometimes I wonder if we ever truly let anyone completely in. The desire for another human being to know you, all of you, all the pieces, even the ones you’re ashamed of — is huge. But too often, we sit down and sort through the pieces only picking out the pretty ones, leaving the ugly ones behind, not realizing that choosing not to share with someone else is like committing a crime against our very soul” ― Rachel Van Dyken, Toxic
 
pozadia

Pieces. Making up a whole, many parts nested together, each influencing another, producing new parts by virtue of the interaction. I pick out a few, examine them closely and find interesting details. They’re beautiful, when held away from the fray of the many tentacled reach of memories and fantasies. After holding them up to the light, seeing their potential array, I shudder to place them back into the filthy nest of my mind. Pulling out the best pieces, I shake them violently to break them free from the sticky strands of complexity and insanity. It encourages me to see the good in the midst of the shadowy world of loathing self esteem. I go through life in this juggling act, bringing out the best, keeping them out front, trying to not corrupt them or damage them. It’s true that others caused the breaks in my beautiful things, but I cannot put them away, even if it means harm, they’re all that I believe is good in me.

First published in Opinions Of Eye
03162012

Stinger – Fighting doubt

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell
Tickle in my brain, flying around in there
Nettle from the wings, wings without air.
Brother to it’s flight, a needle of doubt
The sting will be sure, no way out.
I flinch from the pain, it pierces my defense
Pushing without mercy, sparing no expense
I feel the poison rush, numbing as it goes
Fiercely it corrupts, putting hope in death throes
I shake myself aware, knowing I won’t let go
To pull this ugly thing out, to stop the ebbing flow
Strength from the deep, I brace once more for pain

Doubt resurrects, it’ll keep coming back again.

Also published in Wingposse, September 2012 


02212011

Self Inflicted – A young woman’s cry

The following is an entry from one of my favorite bloggers, Descending Ascension. She presents a raw and uncensored woman’s point of view of a relationship. In this entry she describes abuse and its effect on her mind. Enjoy.


annawestergren
I am defeated
When I let you taint my body.
When you corrupt me,
And deflower my mind.

I am surrendered,
To sins and vice,
Of human things and aspects.

And all the while you’re dragging me down,
Saying sorry for the fucking,
I only say,
“I don’t mind.”

Truth is I do, and you know it.

Such vulgar words and sentiments to escape my lips.
So why don’t you save me?
Stop me?

We’re all just prisoners of our own device.

Besides,

I have never needed a drug.
My mind does more to me 
than alcohol or drugs could ever promise to.

-R.S.L.S

Taken from: Descending Ascension
01062012 

Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #3 – Seriousness

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:” Proverbs 9:1. The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.  

– Helen Keller, (1880-1968) 

A continually full stomach, a life absent from suffering, void of enemies, full of fun and hedonistic pleasure, will make me soft and foolish, spoiled and demanding, empty of wisdom and hardened to its courting calls. Sorrow, the winds of adversity, great pressure and trouble, will keep me sharp and on my game. Seriousness is a gift born from suffering. Desire suffering over a life of ease and fullness. However it works in my life, wisdom requires a serious attitude to come of age. Foolish entertainments and company will corrupt good wisdom and good habits. I must beware of long periods of ease and content, it will likely fuel my descent away from wisdom. Embracing the hard times of life will make me fertile for the seeds of wisdom to take root, guarantee their fruitfulness, and an atmosphere ideal for their growth.

Wisdom’s Seven Pillars – Pillar #3 – Seriousness

“Wisdom has built her house, she has carved out her seven pillars:” Proverbs 9:1. The aim of this series is to present a non-cliche, non-religious point of view of wisdom. I do subscribe to some religious interpretations of the subjects addressed, but wish to here, only point out the common understanding of the principles.  

– Helen Keller, (1880-1968) 

A continually full stomach, a life absent from suffering, void of enemies, full of fun and hedonistic pleasure, will make me soft and foolish, spoiled and demanding, empty of wisdom and hardened to its courting calls. Sorrow, the winds of adversity, great pressure and trouble, will keep me sharp and on my game. Seriousness is a gift born from suffering. Desire suffering over a life of ease and fullness. However it works in my life, wisdom requires a serious attitude to come of age. Foolish entertainments and company will corrupt good wisdom and good habits. I must beware of long periods of ease and content, it will likely fuel my descent away from wisdom. Embracing the hard times of life will make me fertile for the seeds of wisdom to take root, guarantee their fruitfulness, and an atmosphere ideal for their growth.