Un-circular Reasoning

“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.” – Anthony Hopkins

media

I followed my thought,

I just knew it was true.
It led me down the way,
I loved it straight through.
When I arrived at what
I thought was the end,
it spun me around
to start over again.
So the circle continued,
long day after long day.
My thoughts ran me ragged
They were more than I could pay.
At that moment of decision
confused but now I know,
just because my thoughts lead me,
doesn’t mean I should go.

Also published in: Broowaha

11082011 

Unseen Damage – Abuse leaves problems, don’t ignore them

 “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen someone actually change. I’m talking about a drastic, spin around, burnout, going in the other direction, change. Then I realized, the change needed to happen in me. It’s amazing how a simple change like an attitude adjustment, can affect how you see others. Now the change part, I had things I needed to change long before I realized that I needed to change them. It’s that way most of the time, in fact, if I see the need to change, I’ve already begun to live the miracle. I’ll explain in a practical example from my experience: If I’ve been the victim of a violent crime, especially a sexual crime, I HAVE something that NEEDS to be dealt with. I was affected, regardless of what I think, regardless of how I have “handled” it; it has affected me in ways I can’t even begin to imagine. I’m not saying I have “victim” mentality, only that I must realize that I’ll have damage that I’m not aware of. This damage can go unnoticed for years at times. I’ve seen numerous signs of this damage throughout my life: fear for no reason, addiction, depression, loneliness, despair, confusion, hyper vigilance, violent outbursts, and an evil foreboding whenever I’m happy. These are some of the effects and each of us may have more or less damage, but, damage none the less. To deal with this damage, talk about it with someone who has gone through it or has experience helping those who have gone through it. I’ve found spiritual pursuits to bring some relief, i.e. prayer, and church support groups. Writing and music helped me through the dark days. There are many ways to get through it, but, you must actively address the issues that have damaged you. May God give us direction in healing these wounds. Be strong my friend, we can be whole again.


Harmony of Red

“I hear the question upon your lips: What is it to be a colour? 
Colour is the touch of the eye, music to the deaf, a word out of the darkness…
I’m so fortunate to be red! I’m fiery. I’m strong. I know men take notice of me and that I cannot be resisted.” – Orhan Pamuk,
My Name is Red

 

Mceklips
I hear the harmony of red, the sound coloring
the morning and evening blanket of night.
Tactile hallucinations of reality, melody of tints
bringing peace to spinning clouds.
Expressions of earths fiery embers, born in my soul,
songs of red seas to greet the darkened sky.
Eyes of primal mystery, songs of the black forest
redvisions of night reflected in searching eyes.
A harmonious melody, red repossesses
the land of my aching soul.
Be still now swirling colors of misty confusion
Red brings rest in her arms….

Also published in Wingposse, October 2012 

08162012

 

Harmony of Red

“I hear the question upon your lips: What is it to be a colour? 
Colour is the touch of the eye, music to the deaf, a word out of the darkness…
I’m so fortunate to be red! I’m fiery. I’m strong. I know men take notice of me and that I cannot be resisted.” – Orhan Pamuk,
My Name is Red

 

Mceklips
I hear the harmony of red, the sound coloring
the morning and evening blanket of night.
Tactile hallucinations of reality, melody of tints
bringing peace to spinning clouds.
Expressions of earths fiery embers, born in my soul,
songs of red seas to greet the darkened sky.
Eyes of primal mystery, songs of the black forest
redvisions of night reflected in searching eyes.
A harmonious melody, red repossesses
the land of my aching soul.
Be still now swirling colors of misty confusion
Red brings rest in her arms….

Also published in Wingposse, October 2012 

08162012

 

Bottoming Out – Lonliness exsanguinates life

This poem was written by a talented fellow poet, Mark Davison and first seen in Elbow Lane Poems. Enjoy.
campusbasement
I am alone
This scenario is not freedom
 
I see tiny glimpses of hope way over there
But now, here, at this moment, I see shards of me… cracked shards

I am angry and full of tears that well halfway up my throat
The tilt of my head and a desperate breath detain them

I am sad
Sad that I am not happy and that my heart is redundant of it’s secondary duty

Intermittently it flickers into life
Abruptly ending; but just doing enough to?

To what?
Existence can be an exhausting burden

While I happily slept
My soul got took, my mind too

Which means I’ve lost my soul and lost my heart and lost my mind
Pointless looking currently

I am alone
The new ‘single’ me scares people!

Flamboyantly shy, aggressively meek
And ferociously gentle in bed

I ride the conflicting reports and assessments of me like a surfer
Wave after wave me goodbye

I am lost
Confusion is my compass and desperation is my map

Folded pieces of paper in my room partner empty wine bottles
I’ve got nothing else

Comfort I suppose but that’s cold
In fact that insults my own stupid intelligence  

The child that smacks it‘s parent and sends it to bed I laugh

My smile is now a faltering grimace
Plastering my anguished screams and voiceless cries

I am alone
And the weight of that compresses me into a thin nothingness

I am alone
And I’m bottoming out 
 

Mark Davison 7/3/2012