I really, really, want something. What I desired is irrelevant, but I determined to make it mine by committing all my resources to obtain it. A grand gesture for important goals, but topursue all my wants, at all costs, creates an egocentricity that breeds a discontent of mind and ill feelings in my social circles. As long as I live, there will be a long line of things, people, places, and emotions that will never satisfy. I‘ll always want more . A better way to live is to apply my resources to help meet the needs I see in people around me everyday. When I help meet their needs, my desires accompanied by a contented peace, will come to pass. This principle is represented in many spiritual disciplines by the cliche “do unto others”. A lifestyle reflecting this choice is contrary to the materialistic, grab-everything-I-can-regardless-of-the-consequences mindset in society today. As a child, I played a game called “Rough Take”. Someone would, either purposely or accidentally, drop an item. A yell of “rough take!” would ring out and we would rush in pushing, shoving, hitting, and using every dirty trick at our disposal to get it. Thismindset exists in society today. Throw a few dollars in the air on the street, and watch as people lose all civility to pick them up. My dear friends, today I challenge you to a higher level of thinking and living. Help those around you to get what they want and your needs will be met without the struggle of a “Rough Take”.
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
People are becoming an anathema to me. I drift farther away from compassion and concern, wishing to be left alone, weary from the drama that unfolds around me. I’m cutting off communication, slowly, to everyone and everything. My paranoia grows, beat back only by my deepening animosity for the general populace and the abandonment of care. Altruism evaporates, why waste my time being involved in the play by play drama being displayed by the second. I’m so tired of people, so tired of giving, so tired of caring, so tired of empathy. I’ve born the tears of thousands, lost on my knees in prayer, begging my unseen father in heaven to help these itinerants, the foremost of which is my naked and barren essence. I wash away the scabs of never healing wounds with tears that evaporate before they reach the outside. Depression and fear grow in the dark doubt of my soul, one way out I tell myself, just one way. Can you hear me God?
I can’t bear the cries of broken humanity any longer. Failure of my life to help even my family bears witness against me. I deserve to pray for nothing, if I can’t help myself out of this frothing mire of emotions, why call out in the fog to those adrift either by choice or captivity? The wolf chases me, he knows I’m weak, stumbling to get ahead of him. The panting steaming breath he breathes inspires me to run blindly ahead. There’s no help for me in this depression as I spend days fighting to feel happiness in situations where happiness should prosper, watching as it alludes my failing sight and clawing grasp. What would it be like without my festering insidious mind? I’m not my only enemy, there are spirits hungry for the kill that surround and howl. Come close as I gargle my last throttled breath and express my self deprecating disdain for the evil that has become the cancerous me. I don’t want sympathy, but only to realize that as this trees falls alone in the forsaken woods, that you may hear the snap of my aging trunk and know, if only for a short while, that I existed.
First published in Opinions Of Eye
“False riches, consisting of money, houses and lands, acquired by selfish means at cost to others and thereafter used selfishly, are almost always used for the oppression of other persons.” – Joseph Franklin Rutherford