Timid Creature – Peace hides in circumstances

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
Albert Einstein

Peace, your a timid creature.

I want to hold you, but, 
as soon as I reach for you,
you disappear, 
darting behind circumstances.
I can hear you moving, 
never seeing you for long.
In the end, 
I must let you come to me,
resting by my side, 
as I rest by yours. 





12082011




Tear Drop

“It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer…and everything collapses. ” – Colette
atriptomywonderland
I’ll never be without them, they follow me everywhere, when I feel their finally gone, with vengeance they find me again, forcing themselves on me, insisting that I acknowledge them. I scarcely can resist their efforts, so enduring and persistent they’ve become. I give them place, being preeminent in my existence, being associated always with me, my companions, never to leave. I entertain them now, with some resistance, allowing them to have their way with me, to work me into submission. As I give way to them, I stand back, in my mind wondering, perhaps this is the way I must go, to walk with them and be taught by them; it’s a hard way. When joy is born, quickly they are taken from me, teasing me by allowing me to feel a moment’s respite. I go on now, taking them with me, forgive me if leave a few of them on your shoulder

also published in Broowaha

12082011 

The Music – Music brings a release

 “Without music, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

I turned the music on today.

I let the pain work its way out and through
my heart to my eyes,
welling up with watery release

I turned the music on today.
I let the tears come rolling on in and down
my face to my lips,
tasting my salty sorrow.

I turned the music on today.
I felt all of it rolling around and across
I let myself go
from my life in this dark room.

I turned the music on today… 

Also published in: Broowaha

12062011 



Alone In The Company of Her

“The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don’t you think?” Christine Feehan, Dark Prince 
 

melissaharmonphoto

We smiled our smiles, kisses burned
Feelings rushed one way
For me not returned
This is how I find myself
Alone in the company of her

Also published in: Broowaha
11262011 

The Beautiful Rejected Ones – Spontaneous acts of kindness

 “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
Mother Teresa
 
paintingmania

How strong am I? I didn’t know until I faced death, loneliness, depression, lost a loved one, felt the pain of hating my body, experienced the betrayal of a lover, and wrestled with an addiction. These I have done and come back from, being rewarded with an understanding and compassion for those teetering on the point of no return. So many people on that edge, looking self loathing, rejection, and death in the face. These are the outcasts, the downtrodden, the incarcerated, the elderly, the dis-formed, the dysfunctional, the addicted. I will be a friend, a partner to those rejected by the crowd. Starving for affection and acceptance, withering beneath the blazing sun of rejection by family, by friends, by society. Orphans, left behind, stranded on islands of disorders: disorders of eating, thinking, mobility, and socializing. I don’t know their pain, their reason for leaving the path to wander aimlessly through a deep and lonely sea, finding themselves without a way back. I will be the ship on the horizon. I will send up the smoke of my prayers that they may see a sign before they see me and have hope.  Many don’t want, or will refuse help. I mean no offense to their independence, I don’t want to change them, that they must do themselves, if they need to change at all. I wish only to offer a respite from their routine. That is my resolution for this new year, to travel to the edge of my world, the edge of the parties, the edge of church services, the edge of bars, the edge of communities, and bring to them a concerned and loving hand of compassion. I will bring hope, an opportunity to get back up and try again, a break to breathe easier, refreshing them. With this sip of cold water, perhaps I may save a life or revive a weary soul to get up and come out of the cold, into the warmth of love. Look for me this new year, you will find me in the company of these, the beautiful rejected ones.

Also published in: Broowaha 
12312011

The Beautiful Rejected Ones – Spontaneous acts of kindness

 “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” – Plato
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
Mother Teresa
 
paintingmania

How strong am I? I didn’t know until I faced death, loneliness, depression, lost a loved one, felt the pain of hating my body, experienced the betrayal of a lover, and wrestled with an addiction. These I have done and come back from, being rewarded with an understanding and compassion for those teetering on the point of no return. So many people on that edge, looking self loathing, rejection, and death in the face. These are the outcasts, the downtrodden, the incarcerated, the elderly, the dis-formed, the dysfunctional, the addicted. I will be a friend, a partner to those rejected by the crowd. Starving for affection and acceptance, withering beneath the blazing sun of rejection by family, by friends, by society. Orphans, left behind, stranded on islands of disorders: disorders of eating, thinking, mobility, and socializing. I don’t know their pain, their reason for leaving the path to wander aimlessly through a deep and lonely sea, finding themselves without a way back. I will be the ship on the horizon. I will send up the smoke of my prayers that they may see a sign before they see me and have hope.  Many don’t want, or will refuse help. I mean no offense to their independence, I don’t want to change them, that they must do themselves, if they need to change at all. I wish only to offer a respite from their routine. That is my resolution for this new year, to travel to the edge of my world, the edge of the parties, the edge of church services, the edge of bars, the edge of communities, and bring to them a concerned and loving hand of compassion. I will bring hope, an opportunity to get back up and try again, a break to breathe easier, refreshing them. With this sip of cold water, perhaps I may save a life or revive a weary soul to get up and come out of the cold, into the warmth of love. Look for me this new year, you will find me in the company of these, the beautiful rejected ones.

Also published in: Broowaha 
12312011

Really? Did I do that…?

“The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in”Wilson Mizner

It happens. Giving life my best effort, I managed to shoot myself directly in the foot. Why’s it like this? I do really well, making incredible advances, then I do something so frigging stupid. This is my habit all my life, like a social Tourette’s syndrome, I’ll be totally cool and then I’ll twitch, cuss, drool, or some other weird obliteration of myself manifests. I’m as shocked as those around me, feeling shame burn a coat on my face with a shade of red. Then the real torture starts, my mind replaying the event, hoping for some redemption from my faux pas. No peace manifests in these late night meetings of my heart and soul, just an ache in my gut, a hurting head, and a loathing to be around those who saw my screw up. That was then, this is now. To hell with this feeling. I’m comfortable with my flaws, faults, and idiosyncrasies. I don’t give a rip what THEY think, because, I know for damn sure if I look hard enough, I’m going to see wild shit manifesting in their life. I lay down my self-flagellation cat-o-nine, go straight up to that embarrassing moment and laugh my ass off. “Forewarned is forearmed“, if you see me laughing hysterically for no reason….it’s probably because I just made a very perfect ass out of myself.

Rain Drop

“Do not be angry with the rain; 
it simply does not know how to fall upwards.” 
fanpop
Why am I leaving my place of comfort, my mountain lake so clear and pristine?

Why am I flying higher and higher through places I’ve never been?

Why am I spinning in clouds so dark with rumblings fierce?

Why am I thrown to the ground in anger it seems?

Now I am being swallowed up by a young oak.

That was the reason for all my trial and discomfort. It was to give life…. 

04132010

Masks – Behind the facades of faces you think you know

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.Oscar Wilde

I take a minute, to look out from the world that is me, to see carefully maintained facades in the all the faces looking back. I understand I’m the same, different from what you perceive, disguised in my intentions. I have masks to hide the things that my mind thinks, hiding my brokenness, deceiving you, protecting me. Crafting these masks carefully in the heat of pain, shame polishing the rough edges to a delightful smile, I take cover from you my companion, or you my enemy. These facades have mistakenly become my reality, deceiving myself with this subterfuge and believing my lies, I must lay these falsehoods down, baring my soul to keep my identity. My friends, enemies, and acquaintances, “Who will lay their masks down?” I hear no reply, so let me be first. See into my soul, I’ll not hide. But, you know I’m lying, I spent to long on this mask, to tear it up just for you. I have good intentions in mind, however, most of the time, I plan on getting what I want, even if it’s under the guise of my kind smile.

Also published in Broowaha
12102010

Breaking Adolescence: The Prayer Of The Girl

This is a post from a talented young lady who I’ve come to admire for her writings, enjoy.

 

All I ask for is quiet beauty;

Admiration from men, not fawning over my bosom,

but of my womanly ways.

Let my body not betray me,
to the confinement of a bed-
to my only knowledge being of how to pleasure men.

I hope to keep my face,
open and without tears,
of the foolish kind covered with foundation 
and “ageless” years.

If I become a mother,
I hope not to stay home,
as a prerequisite of marriage,
and until the burying of my bones.

I wish to be free,
please,
let it be.

“Amen..”

-R.S.L.S

Link to original article