Born Again – Recovery from Traumatic Brain Injury

 “Recovery is hard. End of story…
I spend hours a week doing homework that isn’t for school, but for rehabilitative purposes. I am regularly pushed to my limits cognitively, emotionally, and physically…
I am always tired, I have never been more aware of my difficulties in the past two years than I am now. I work a lot with figuring out strategies to manage the results of my brain injury in a way where it makes life more manageable…
I want the frustration to stop…

Despite all of the I wants, or the I wishes, I have never been so motivated in my life to succeed. I may have difficulties, but i refuse to let it define me. I will keep trying, and keep pushing. I will never be the person I was before, I may never be a conventional normal person. But I will succeed in life. Disability or not…” – Alwaygrowing
neurosciencestuff
Born again, no, not in the religious sense. There’s a new birth forced on us from several of tumultuous life changing events. Take for example, a Traumatic Brain Injury, which hadn’t received much press until many of our veterans came back from war. Their are many hard things to process and I’ll relay them to you in a greatly condensed version. As a survivor of TBI, I’ve experienced a change in habits, personality, quirks, desires, and many things I took for granted. I’ve noticed a marked decrease in patience and strong increase in violent outbursts. It took a good long while before I was able to walk without dizziness and still feel my actions are clumsy compared to the me I knew before. Writing, speaking, events that I had great control over before (I was a public speaker and very eloquent with words and phrases) seemed out of my grasp. I struggled to actually say what I wanted to, entirely different words or ideas would come out instead. People would repeat what I just said and I responded with amazement at having said something I’d never say, and that with no recollection. Writing through the vehicle of typing was another terrific challenge, my coordination and muscle memory was out of whack and I had to learn all over.
No one explained that these things could happen and most people just walked away wagging their heads, not understanding that this wasn’t me, I was born again. Like my natural birth, I had no choice in the matter, it was given to me by fate and circumstance. I reeled for years trying to find my way back to the me I knew, and still endure hardship and misunderstanding as I struggle to learn again. This is a curse and a blessing. A curse because there are bad things that resulted from the injury (violence, clumsy, forgetful, impatience) but a blessing because now, unlike growing up, I can understand that I’m forming my new self and look at my actions with the guidance of hindsight and understanding given from self education and spiritual pursuit. Born Again, hallelujah yes, but not to a spiritual reunion with God, but to a soulful reunion with who I want to be.
If you need more information on TBI here are some links:
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Roostah

Words. Deep thoughts. Eccentric. Madness. Lover. Dark. Music. Melancholic. Beaches. Addict. Primal. Curious. Dichotomy. Gemini. "I am a series of small victories and large defeats, and I am as amazed as any other that I have gotten from there to here." - Charles Bukowski "I think and think and 99 times I'm wrong. But on the 100th time, I'm right." - Einstein

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