It’s Not About Me – Depersonalizing Offense

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.” – William Arthur Ward
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” 

What does it take to drive the anger and hate from my heart? These things come to life in me when I see or experience pain and injustice. Life offers a great helping of suffering that can ruin me if I keep it inside and take it personal. Not every experience has to do with me, people are who they are, regardless of who they interact with. If I respond to them from the point of view that it’s ME, then I respond with self-criticism, hate, and anger. These situations are likely not about me, they are, however, showing me a weakness in my character that is there regardless of the offense or offender. I understand when they hurt me, their behavior exists apart from me, it happens regardless of my presence in the matter. By putting aside the personalization of these offenses, I am able to respond to that situation with the attitudes that set me apart from anger and hate. These attitudes include patience, giving good in return for bad, and living in a continuing joy that exists regardless of favorable circumstances. Seeing these, the offender will likely suffer more at seeing my success and happiness than if I continued to validate their actions by responding with the only thing they know: more anger, more confrontation, more violence, and more hate. There is time and a place for confrontation, even for violent retribution, but for now, I’ll take that punch on the chin, turn and smile, and live my life to its fullest. What does it take to drive the anger and hate from my heart? To never take personal the stupidity and selfish actions of others and to respond, not in kind but, with the best revenge, a life well lived.

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Words. Deep thoughts. Eccentric. Madness. Lover. Dark. Music. Melancholic. Beaches. Addict. Primal. Curious. Dichotomy. Gemini. "I am a series of small victories and large defeats, and I am as amazed as any other that I have gotten from there to here." - Charles Bukowski "I think and think and 99 times I'm wrong. But on the 100th time, I'm right." - Einstein

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